I was ordering something online. I needed to spend about $10 more to get “free” shipping. So I checked out the books. That’s when I came across The Book of Delights by Ross Gay. I saw that it was a New York Times best seller, a National Book Award Finalist, and only $20. But that’s not what sold me. It’s the basic premise of the book. Ross Gay, a 50-year-old black writer (born in Youngstown, OH, grew up in Levittown, PA), is a professor of English at Indiana University (my old alma mater). A poet and essayist, he decided one day to write a short essay every day about something he found delightful. I thought, “What a neat idea!” And then, “What a challenge!” First, to find a delight in every day! And then to write an essay about it! But after reading the book, I can say Gay succeeded in his goal–and in a delightful way too!
There are 102 essays in the book. (He confesses he didn’t write an essay every single day.) But just the chapter titles piqued my curiosity: “Inefficiency”… Flower in the Curb… Praying Mantis (one of my favorites!)… Writing by Hand… Nicknames… Airplane rituals… Among the Awards of My Sloth… The Sanctity of Trains… Bird Feeding… Babies. Seriously… Bobblehead… Ambiguous Signage Sometimes… Tomato on Board… My Birthday.”
In “Tomato on Board,” essay #80, Gay describes carrying a seedling tomato through the airport and onto a plane. If you do this, he says, it “will make people smile at you almost like you’re carrying a baby. A quiet baby.” (He recalled carrying a bouquet of lilies through the streets of Rome once. People noticed–and smiled “with approval” at him—especially women. In fact, “A woman dressed in a housedress and beating a rug on a balcony shouted Bravo!”) When Gay boarded the plane with his tomato seedling, one worker said, “Nice Tomato.” The flight attendant directed him to an open seat–for the seedling. He set “the li’l guy” in the seat next to the window so it could look out. When he got water, he poured “some of it into the li’l guy’s soil.” And when the plane landed and the pilot put on the brakes hard, “my arm reflexively went across the seat, holding the li’l guy in place, the way my dad’s arm would when he had to brake hard in that car without seatbelts to speak of, in one of my very favorite gestures in the encyclopedia of human gestures.”
In essay #68, Gay muses on the bobblehead toy, saying, “I suspect there will be no apparently superficial delight than this one.” But at the end of his musings, he wonders if “it’s the bobblehead that delights me, or if it is the fact that the toy alerts me regularly to the fact that people are delighted by such goofy and ridiculous things, which reminds me of a fairly common childlikeness, which encourages softheartedness, I think.”
In essay #82, he noticed that a friend of his, Kayte, had a tag in her backback that said, “If you find this please return to.” And Kayte had filled it out with her name and telephone number. Her action strikes Gay “as a simple act of faith in human decency.” He wonders if he found a wallet with $500 in it with identifying material in it, would he return the wallet? Would that depend on the identfying material? What if it was a frequent-gamblers card issued by some big casino? Or a frequent donor card to Oxfam or Amnesty International? He decides he would return the wallet regardness of the identifying material, because at this stage in his life, he “adamantly” believes in common human decency. (I asked myself, “Do I?” And if I do, how do I demonstrate this belief in my life?”)
As I mentioned, one of my favorites (#7) was his observations of a praying mantis. He begins, “There is a praying mantis on the empty pint glass someone left on one of the red outdoor tables at the cafe.” Most days Gay would have been upset with the “jerk” ( my word choice; his is rawer) “who didn’t pick up after him—yes, I’m assuming—self.” But this day, Gay realizes the jerk’s thoughtlessness “has created a gorgeous transparent stage for this beast to perform on.” As he gazes at the insect, it excretes “a tiny near-cylinder of grayish brown scat on the rumpled napkin beneath the glass.” In all my years of reading, I have never read a description of a praying mantis “going to the bathroom.” (Have you?) There’s more. He writes, “This bug seems to be dancing–it kind of pounces on the four legs beneath its abdomen, bouncing and swaying, like it’s hearing a music I’m not yet tuned to.”
When Gay scoots back in his chair, the insect keeps eyeing him, “its little mouth opening and closing.” It’s dancing, he concludes. Then a woman “in a floral pattern dress walks by and the mantis turned its head–its heart-shaped head!–in her direction” until she passes. Then it climbs down from the glass, onto the table, then onto the book Gay is reading. He ends with, “Then the creature rears up on its back legs, extending its arms like it’s looking for a hug. Like it wants, maybe, to dance with me.”
Occasionally The Book of Delights contains language some might find “off color,” but that didn’t prevent me from enjoying the book. I was also impressed by the ton of rave reviews it received. Here are a few: “A reminder of what the personal essay is best at: finding the profound in the mundane.” (Seattle Times) “A prose miracle.” (Maria Popova) “Effectively delightful, surprising, tender, varied, as real joy is.” (Ploughshares) “A kaleidscopic collection of joy.” (Shelf Awareness) And finally, “I am indebted to this book for reminding me, reminding us, that there is so much to celebrate in this world.” (Clint Smith)
For reflection:
Did any of his delights delight you?
I suggest you might want to try this: find at least one delight in each of the next three days. Jot down what the delight was. If you want, you can describe it in more detail. And then come back to the blog and share your findings with us.
Have you experienced a delight recently that you’d like to share with us below?
Here’s something that delights me. It’s the plant my nephew gave me in the spring. I planted it in this pot and put it on my second floor porch. It’s called a “Joseph’s Coat”–as in the the story found in Gen. 37 where Jacob gives his favorite son a coat of many colors! The plant is sometimes called the summer poinsettia too! Both the plant and the name of the plant delight me!
I chose a popular religious song by Marty Haugen entitled “We Remember, We Celebrate, We Believe.” As Christians, we have some good reasons to celebrate every day. In this song, Haugen reminds us of three of them: “You loved us to your death… You are with us now… and we will see you when you come in glory.”
I invite you to leave a comment on this blog–the reflection itself, the video, or the photos…
56 Responses
Good afternoon, Melannie…
Good afternoon, all…
Okay, I now have my next book! Thank you!
We recently vacationed in Maine. I was always the first one up, as I am the coffee maker — a truly important job! Anyway, I’m sitting at the kitchen table, sipping my coffee, and gazing out the sliding glass door window into the back yard, when there it is, a deer, its nose to the ground. Suddenly she raises her head and looks right at me. I freeze, holding my gaze, holding my cup still. Does she see me? I don’t know. Then it just moves away, bounding into the woods. I don’t see many deer where I live, and so when I do see one, it’s like beholding a miracle!
John, There’s nothing quite like going “eye to eye” with a non-human animal. I still recall how I encountered a buck while walking in the woods in Virginia. We both stood motionless for a good minute. I’m glad you appreciated your short encounter with that Maine doe! Thanks for sharing it! Melannie
My wife and I have a large hibiscus plant in our backyard that produces beautiful red flowers around this time of year. Last year, we transplanted a shoot of it in the front yard. This week, I have beheld some beautiful red flowers on our new plant.
Stephen, Isn’t it amazing how even one plant with flowerss on it can bring us such joy! Thanks for sharing one of yours! Melannie
In Native American religion, the unexpected appearance of a deer is often understood to be a sign of the divine.
And I am heading for Maine in a couple of weeks. I think this suggested book from Melannie is required reading.
Charlene, Thank you for reminding us of the way Native Americans saw the divine in the natural world in which they lived! Melannie
We put out a Finch bird feeder a few weeks ago and kept watching hoping to catch one or two. Surprisingly, just yesterday not only one but two arrived and perched upside down (which they do I learned) to eat the Niger seeds. We stood silently just admiring their beauty and grateful for this unexpected ‘delight’!
Hi Melanie,
No Sunflower Seeds in my Monday email..fyi.?
David, I’ll have to check with the tech people to see why it wasn’t sent out. Thank you for your patience. But I’m glad you found it! Melannie
David, I hope it arrived by now. An unexplainable glitch, I was told. Melannie
Very special video with special memories!
On September 14, 1987 at St. John Paul ll’s Mass in Phoenix, Arizona, we all sang this song at the stadium! (Was privileged to travel from Kansas City with others to see him.)
Was also singing We Remember in a contemporary choir in my parish in KC.
Betti, Thank you for sharing your experience with St. John Paul’s Mass in Phoenix in ’87. What a memorable experience that must have been for you! Melannie
Good morning Sr. Melannie,
No Sunflower Seeds in my email either but I found you.
Something that delights me is my teacup collection ~ I have over 80.
They are all so beautiful and each one is unique, sort of like the uniqueness of each human being. They also hold many memories ~ many were my Mom’s, others were gifts and some bring back fun memories of trips to antique shops. They remind me of special people in my life and pleasant places.
Beverly, I can certainly see how your teacup collection must be a delight for you! How nice that you can appreciate their beauty and uniqueness and their connection with people you love! Thanks for sharing this with us! Melannie
I too had a huge beautiful collection of teacups from collecting antiques . I moved to the country to a cottage and hung them all on kitchen- dining area ceilings . So enjoyable……
Good morning Sr. Melannie,
I, too, missed this week’s email, so I am happy to have found it. Thank you for introducing us to The Book of Delights..it is definitely on my list now!
Your emails are always so interesting and thought provoking.
Thank you and have a great week. Sending best wishes from England
Anne, How nice to hear from you in England! On PBS here, I love to watch the historical dramas, comedies, and other fine programming produce in your country! Melannie
No Sunflower Seeds in my email either.
Good Morning Sr. Melanie,
I too did not receive your Monday email but clicked on last week’s and went to your blog. What an interesting book, and it does makes us all stop and take in all of the beauty that nature has to offer us. One of my most recent delights was picking some fresh green beans from my garden then cooking them up the way my mom used to and I enjoyed every last bite! Only a few short weeks ago, I carefully planted each seed to slowly see a little green form sprout from the ground. Now these plants are 2 feet high and flowering and producing some fresh veggies! Another one of God’s many daily miracles that we take for granted.
Thanks for always giving us some food for thought each and every week!
Hope you have a wonderful week.
Karen
Karen, You example of those fresh beans is excellent–and one I can relate too. (Yum yum!) Yes, I agree, so many of God’s “daily miracles” we can take for granted! Melannie
Hello Sr. Melannie….I also did not receive your blog this week, but searched for it through your website. I sure hope you are not having problems again. I noticed another person had the same ptoblem.
Christine, Problem was resolved. Thank you! Melannie
Your email prompt for your blog arrived today. As always, thank you for sharing the “delights” of life with some personal highlights from Ross Gay’s book.
BTW, I have your blog bookmarked. I started to get to it the other day and got distracted. It was a wonderful Wednesday prompt for me to return and finish reading it.
Barry, Glad things are up and running again–it seems. Keep looking for those delights every day! Melannie
I too had a spiritual encounter with a very large buck while hiking. It was a very difficult time for me, all the emotions were swirling around my head/heart and I knew I needed to walk. I walked without direction into the woods not paying attention to what was around me just looking down at the path. Not a safe way to hike.
I came around the bend and had to stop because standing before me was this very large buck. I looked up and held his eye with what seemed like forever but was probably just a moment. My heart was touched to my very core and I started to cry. The buck just stood there continuing to hold my gaze. A calm came over me and I knew I would be ok.
In that moment he lowered his head, I closed my eyes and bowed thanking him for this gift of Peace. He walked into the woods. I have never seen him again but will always be grateful.
Laurie, Your experience is so similar to my own! I still remember his gaze–how he turned his head to get a better look at me. How he sniffed the air to get my scent–but the wind was blowing in my direction. Yes, I was afraid when I saw his large antlers, but then I calmed down. He was so majestic–so regal! Thanks for sharing your experience in detail with us all! Melannie
I just found your blog today Sr. Melannie. Worth the wait.
Thanks, Kathleen!
So glad I got the blog prompt this morning. A good reminder for me to stop and slow down. I tend to rush through the day and not notice the “delights” around me. I just requested both of his books (he has a second volume of delights) from the library.
Kathy, Maybe I should look into his second book too…. Melannie
I so enjoyed this sharing….the small things in life certainly are held in the center of one’s heart where they are cherished, remembered and then shared with much delight . So enjoy the sunflower sharings. Sister Ave Clark,O.P.
Sister Ave, Yes, we must cherish the small in our hearts… So glad you enjoy the “flower sharings.” Melannie
I read the blog on Monday and followed the directions to find three things that delight us this week. My first is watching our husky Princess sticking her nose into the air and sniffing. Watching her makes me laugh especially if we’re in the car and she’s got her head as far as it can go. She seems so interested in whatever it is that’s she smelling that I wonder what I’m missing out on. Secondly I am delighted when Jay the cat comes to visit and he climbs up on my chest and puts his face right against my face. His whiskers tickle and he’s purring a hundred miles a minute. He brings a sense of peace to me. Third I am delighted spending time with a good book. I’ll have to get your latest suggested one. Can’t wait to read it myself. Thank you Sr. Melannie for this week’s assignment. I think I will continue to find something that delights me in each of the rest of the days this week.
Martha, I loved your delights! Your example of Princess sniffing made me google “how much greater is a husky’s sense of smell than a human’s?” The answer: humans have 5-6 million olfactory receptors. While most dogs, including husky’s, have up to 300 million!… So glad you liked the “assignment.” You received a “good grade!” Melannie
Finally the blog arrived this morning! Yay!
I discovered two years ago that hummingbirds like to feed on blue salvia. Each summer I seek out this flower and patiently await the time it takes to bloom. It just delights me each morning to see a bird flitting around from one bloom to another. It becomes a complete day of delight when a hummingbird returns in the evening.
Donna, I know quite a few people who deliberately plants certain flowers to attract humingbirds. The hummingbirds get free food, while the people-planters get free delight! Melannie
I didn’t get the Monday blog until yesterday, happy that I did. Never thought to look for it on your blog page.
I loved this and may have to order that book!
My delight is the first home grown tomato or the first hibiscus on my plant which popped out yesterday! I love your blogs, they make my day! 🙂
Kathy, Couldn’t agree with you more about eating the first home grown tomato. As kids we’d always eat the first ones outside in the garden! Just wipe off the dirt on you shirt and bite into the still warm tomato! Once my brother even brought out the salt shaker!… Comments like yours make my day too! Melannie
Recently on a family vacation, I found myself delighted while on a crowded sidewalk. The people delighted me. There were many colors and hues. I heard many languages. God’s love of variety was so evident and delightful.
Jim, Your experience reminded me of the similar experience the Trappist writer Thomas Merton had as he stood at the corner of Fourth and Walnut Streets (now Fourth and Muhammad Ali Streets) in Louisville, KY? Are you familiar with it? If not, search for Thomas Merton’s Louisville Epiphany and it should come up! I think you’ll be surprised at the similarity! I was delighted with your experience! Thank you! Melannie
I delighted this morning in the dawning of a friend’s most beautiful smile as she begins to emerge from struggling with difficult times in her life. I have so missed her beautiful smile.
Gay, A beautiful delight to share with us! Thank you! Melannie
Good morning. Guess there was some kind of tech glitch and I wasn’t the only one missing your blog post on Monday. What a delight to read today! I agree with you Melannie, the praying mantis delight is my favorite too. Reminds me of the first time I ever saw one. I was about 8 or nine and we were visiting my sister Margaret on a brilliant summer Sunday at the Vincentian convent. My Dad pointed out this whispery creature that was struggling to climb a rod on a gate post. Fascinating creatures to watch, very determined and delicate in every movement. Don’t recall ever seeing one again but that guy left a lasting impression. “Stay focused and stay the course and you will be rewarded .”
I love the song/hymn you presented. One of my favorites that requires singing it loud and strong.
Loretta, Isn’t it amazing that we can hold a memory from far back in our childhood? As a child, I thought praying mantises were awkward. I thought they looked like something my brother would have made with his Erector Set–do you remember those? I think kids (and adults) now play with Lego sets!… I was struck by how it was your dear dad who pointed out the praying mantis to you! What a good father, calling his kids’ attention to the wonders of the natural world! Melannie
Dear Sister Melanie: I, too, just rece your Monday post. ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTFUL!!
I just have to share that this made me think about my “Spider in the Mailbox” short story I wrote over a month’s time years ago. I made friends with a very energetic spider who made residence in my rural mailbox. I couldn’t wait to get there each day to see what he had to say to me. I would immediately continue my story after each visit until one day, he was gone. I was really sad, but overjoyed at this time we spent being friends, not enemies!! Thank you for this wonderful post! Blessings!
Michelle, I loved your story of your spider friend! I’m “delighted” to know you didn’t scream and kill it–but you allowed Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Spider to LIVE in your mailbox–and you used him/her as inspiration for your story! For me, that was the delight of your story! Melannie
Melanie, you missed your vocation. You should have been a marketing director for large national book chains or small book shops. Of course you could and do do that for SND’s. What a delightful idea of Gay’s. Thank you for the excerpts! I can’t remember what the connection was, but as soon as I heard prayingmantis, I thought of Sr M Frank. There was something with that — gosh I wish I could remember that. That is going back years, so I guess I am excused. The important thing is: remembering S M Frank and all those good years —that is delight!
Joni, Hmmm. a link with Sister M. Frank (of beloved memory)… maybe she drew your attention to one when you lived with her. I’m glad your mere recalling HER was a delight for you today! Melannie
Dear Melanie,
I am halfway through your book “Hanging onto hope”. It is one of the most beautiful books I have been blessed to read. Thank you for finding good in an imperfect world. 🩵
Marilyn Maher
Marilyn, One comment like yours, helps to keep me pecking away at my laptop when I’d prefer to be doing something else–at times, almost ANYTHING else! Thanks so much! Melannie
My husband and I are in the middle of re-organizing and rearranging some things in our house and so things are in a bit of disarray. While fretting about how long it’s taking to complete the project, I glanced down at a small upturned round table. Its underside held a lamp and a few temporarily “homeless” objects. For some reason, I started to chuckle. Then I remembered your “delight” challenge, reached for my phone, snapped a picture, titled it “That upside down table that everyone wants 😆”, and texted it to my husband.
Things got even better once I heard my husband laugh, too. Then I started searching around for other goodies, took some more photos and had some more fun creating titles.
I am a writer whose favorite word is SERENDIPITY. Your blog was an invaluable inspiration during my blogging days, and I often felt encouraged during the compilation of my words into book form. Today, I may have finally discovered the impetus for my second publication 😇
Thank you! and God Bless!
Annmarie, I really enjoyed your comment–especially coming from another writer! As the writer (and my friend!) Sr. Macrina Wiederkher wrote to me years ago: “We writers have to stick together!) Thanks so much for your create response to doing what could have been a “boring chore.” Melannie
Good morning everyone,
I find delight in people…..just this morning I was doing my weekly grocery shopping at one of our large supermarkets where I am always on the lookout for encounters with the divine in unsuspecting people. I saw one of the men who stock the shelves walking from the back room looking a bit glum, so I said, “Good morning Dennis” (I saw that on his name tag) which he seemed to not hear so I repeated it. He said “hi” back, but I asked him how he was doing which caused a great sigh and “I can’t wait for this day to be done”. Not one to give up easily, I said to him that I would love to see a smile which did bring a smile….and with that I noticed he had dimples under his scruffy beard. I said, “You have dimples” and those dimples deepened and a twinkle came into his eyes as I said, “don’t deprive the world of those dimples, Dennis”. I walked off with my heart singing!
So many delights to experience if we but look!
Thank you and blessings Sr. Melannie,
Mary N.
Mary, What a good story! May you continue to find delight in people–wherever you go! Melannie
This book sounds similar to one I love. “The Book of Uncommon Prayer” by Brian Doyle. You probably are familiar with him. I knew.him personally because he taught at The University of Portland (Notre Dame’s outpost) near me. He had an very unusual and amazing way with words and insights similar to you. I’ve been a silent follower of you for years and years and attended your very first Zoom retreat when the Pandemic hit. You go girl! and Happy.Anniversary.
Sister Marilyn, I love Brian Doyle’s writing! How wonderful that you knew him personally. I’ve read the book you refer to. It’s amazing! Thank you for recalling this extraordinary writer and good, good man! Melannie