Several times a year I like to pass on a few jokes to you. Some of the following are from The Ultimate Guide to Good Clean Humor by Bernard Brunsting. I hope some of these make you laugh or smile—or even groan. Remember: We are always close to God when we laugh!
Children being children:
When her mother put her blinker on to turn, little Candice was annoyed by the clicking sound. “Mom, why do you have to turn that thing on?” Her mother said, “To let other drivers know I’m turning.” Candice replied, “But Mom, nobody can hear it but you and me.”
“Owww!” Screamed 6-year-old Olivia. “What’s wrong?” her mother called from the kitchen.” “The baby pulled my hair.”
“Don’t be angry at the baby,” her mother said. “He doesn’t understand that it hurts when he pulls your hair.”
A moment later, the mother heard another shriek, this time from the toddler. Going into the living room, she was met by Olivia who smiled and said, “Now he understands.”
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Wisdom from children:
“Always wear a hat when you’re feeding seagulls.” (Age 9)
“Remember the two places you are always welcome: Church and Grandma’s house.” (Age 11)
“When your Dad is mad at you and he asks, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer him.” (Age 16)
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On a fence at a large motherhouse property: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Sisters of Mercy.”
School cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.” Handwritten underneath: “Socks can eat wherever they want.”
At a parking space in a church parking lot: “Reserved for the Pastor. You park here, you preach.”
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If it goes without saying, then let it go without saying.
How come time is such a wonderful healer—but such a lousy beautician?
All marriages are happy. It’s the trying to live together that causes all the problems.
First man: “My brother works for the IRS.” Second man: “Who doesn’t?”
For years he thought he was a failure. So he took a course in positive thinking. Now he’s positive that he’s a failure.
* * * * * *
Goblet: a young turkey
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor
Money: a device by which parents stay in touch with their children in college
Inkwell: an accomplished tattooist
Spice: plural of spouse
Relief: what trees do in the spring
Coffee: a person on whom one coughs
Octopus: a cat with eight legs
Does humor play a significant role in your everyday life? Why or why not?
Why do you think we feel so good after a good laugh?
Do you have something humorous you’d like to share with us today?
I will be giving a retreat on a cruise ship! That’s right, the retreat will be during a 5 night Western Caribbean cruise February 7-12, 2019. The Royal Caribbean ship, the Majesty of the Seas, will leave from Ft. Lauderdale, FL and make two stops in Mexico (Cozumel and Puerto Cost Maya, Mexico). Details are coming. But I wanted to plant a little seed… I’d love to sail, pray, and enjoy all the fun activities of a cruise with you! Why not give it your consideration…
We’ll close today with a light song by Joy Zimmerman entitled, “I Wish You’d Met Me when My Stomach Was Flat.” I want to thank my friend, Joni Dugan, for introducing me to Joy Zimmerman. In a future post, I will use one of Joy’s more serious songs. They’re beautiful!
You’re invited to share a few thoughts on this reflection, the song, or humor in general.