A Little Humor… Again
Several times a year I like to pass on a few jokes to you. Some of the following are from The Ultimate Guide to Good Clean Humor by Bernard Brunsting. I hope some of these make you laugh or smile—or even groan. Remember: We are always close to God when we laugh!
Children being children:
When her mother put her blinker on to turn, little Candice was annoyed by the clicking sound. “Mom, why do you 
have to turn that thing on?” Her mother said, “To let other drivers know I’m turning.” Candice replied, “But Mom, nobody can hear it but you and me.”
“Owww!” Screamed 6-year-old Olivia. “What’s wrong?” her mother called from the kitchen.” “The baby pulled my hair.”
“Don’t be angry at the baby,” her mother said. “He doesn’t understand that it hurts when he pulls your hair.”
A moment later, the mother heard another shriek, this time from the toddler. Going into the living room, she was met by Olivia who smiled and said, “Now he understands.”
* * * * * * * *
Wisdom from children:
“Always wear a hat when you’re feeding seagulls.” (Age 9)
“Never confuse a brown crayon with a Tootsie Roll.” (Age 8)
“Remember the two places you are always welcome: Church and Grandma’s house.” (Age 11)
“When your Dad is mad at you and he asks, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer him.” (Age 16)
* * * * * * * *
Signs:
On a fence at a large motherhouse property: “Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Sisters of Mercy.”
School cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.” Handwritten underneath: “Socks can eat wherever they want.”
At a parking space in a church parking lot: “Reserved for the Pastor. You park here, you preach.”
* * * * * * * *
Sayings:
If it goes without saying, then let it go without saying.
How come time is such a wonderful healer—but such a lousy beautician?
All marriages are happy. It’s the trying to live together that causes all the problems.
First man: “My brother works for the IRS.” Second man: “Who doesn’t?”
For years he thought he was a failure. So he took a course in positive thinking. Now he’s positive that he’s a failure.
* * * * * *
Definitions:
Goblet: a young turkey
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor
Money: a device by which parents stay in touch with their children in college
Inkwell: an accomplished tattooist
Eternity: the last two minutes of a football game
Spice: plural of spouse
Relief: what trees do in the spring
Coffee: a person on whom one coughs
Octopus: a cat with eight legs
For reflection:
Does humor play a significant role in your everyday life? Why or why not?
Why do you think we feel so good after a good laugh?
Do you have something humorous you’d like to share with us today?
BIG NEWS!
I will be giving a retreat on a cruise ship! That’s right, the retreat will be during a 5 night Western Caribbean cruise February 7-12, 2019. The Royal Caribbean ship, the Majesty of the Seas, will leave from Ft. Lauderdale, FL and make two stops in Mexico (Cozumel and Puerto Cost Maya, Mexico). Details are coming. But I wanted to plant a little seed… I’d love to sail, pray, and enjoy all the fun activities of a cruise with you! Why not give it your consideration…
We’ll close today with a light song by Joy Zimmerman entitled, “I Wish You’d Met Me when My Stomach Was Flat.” I want to thank my friend, Joni Dugan, for introducing me to Joy Zimmerman. In a future post, I will use one of Joy’s more serious songs. They’re beautiful!
You’re invited to share a few thoughts on this reflection, the song, or humor in general.
Thanks Sister Melannie, I still appreciate the Friends that can make me laugh. I think there is nothing better for your Health!
Sister Melannie,
The song is fantastic! I love the ending. What a great way to start the morning!
God bless.
Kathleen
Jokes…what a great way to start the day! Thank you! I loved the song.
Here’s one for you: What do you call a chocolate covered sheep?
A Hershey Baa
Love the jokes…a smile and laughter go a long, long way. So good for our souls. Oftentimes, when I am out and about, I will keep a smile on my face and make eye contact with as many people as I can. Great opportunity to spread some happiness
Laughter – I cannot go a day without it!
This is the best prescription everyone should have especially in the cloudy winter months in Ohio!
Great way to start the week. I did lol to jokes and the song. When I laugh, I Hope. When I hope I feel close to God, and when I feel close to God I hope more. So your saying that to laugh means being close to Him rings so true. Please keeps us up on cruise details! Have a happy week!
Laughter is the best gift! I enjoyed the jokes.The Best is when you laugh so hard you cry!
Humor? Me? Nah. I’m terminally dour.
Actually, I think that a sense of humour goes hand-in-hand with resiliency. Who was it who said that the goal of the spiritual life was to make us more supple? (Hubert van Zeller, I think: the Benedictine who was famous a few decades ago.) Suppleness, resiliency, humour, yep.
Oh, and the song was awesome! Joy Zimmerman: making a mental note!
Thank you, Sister. Happy, safe sailing.
Great stuff! A cruise! Yippee-yahoo! Liked all the jokes, especially the one with the Sisters of Mercy as the punchline. Really needed this blog of humor….I’m sort of angry at a car dealership right now, but the jokes have lessened that a little bit.
This from my daughter when she was four: She puts her shoes on the wrong feet. We say, Katie, the shoes are on the wrong feet. Katie: “This never happens with socks!”
Thanks for the day brighter. Loved the music.
Thanks ~ for your reminders and spot-on aids to find the balance.
Joy Zimmerman’s song; also perfect. So glad to know about her!
Patty
Thank you Sr. Melannie. You always make me laugh. Some of your writings can make me cry, but it is all good!
Mary S
Humor changes everything! As I was going through cancer treatments, I needed unexpected scans, transfusion, treatments, etc. So I began calling them ‘field trips’ and that made us all laugh about it!
(Thanks for your blog. Great song too!)
I loved the jokes, the song and dreaming about a cruise some day. Thank you.
I read this somewhere and wrote it down.
Laughter is carbonated holiness. Loved the music and the jokes.
Laughter–the best medicine. I like the definition of eternity!
What a happy way to start a day! Thanks , as always, Melannie .
I’m not good at remembering jokes but this one stuck with me: ” I’m going to get rid of my vacuum….all it does is collect dust”!
Have a happy week. Josita
Many years ago my as we were discussing the day…my husband said he went fishing to catch some fish..my three year old daughter replied, who was throwing them.
I am very interested in the cruise retreat. Keep me informed of details.
Do we purchase it on our own? It is pretty reasonable right now .
Cheryl
Thanks for that VERY funny song! It made me laugh. I wish all my friends could hear it. Thanks for the news about the cruise. I will keep it in mind. Royal Caribbean is our cruise line of choice. Hope we can make it.
Love the song! Reminded me of Anita Renfroe’s Ode to Motherhood and other Christian funny songs and stories of hers! Thank you for your blog, love to read it weekly.
I love how your mind works Sister. Thank you for a fresh morning!
Melannie, I’m very interested in the cruise. Let me know the details. I loved the humor in your blog this week.
My husband of 61 years and I tend to play off of each other and rarely go through a checkout line without leaving the cashier laughing. He tells people that our purpose in life is to make people laugh.
Sister Melannie,
Bob and I are very interested in hearing more about the cruise.
Thanks, Skip
Mel, what a great song! It says it all at this time of our lives! And so humorously too! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Keep me in mind and email about the Retreat at Sea. Thank you!
Great song! Thanks, Sister Melannie, Joy Zimmerman!
Blessed Holy Week! Happy Easter! Enjoy the black jelly
beans of humor! Dorothy