I was thinking about promises recently. Here are a few thoughts on the question, “Why do we make promises?”
The dictionary says a promise is “an agreement to do or not to do something.” Generally speaking, there are good promises and bad ones. In short, a good promise (to care for or help someone) is rooted in loving. A bad promise (to hurt or harm someone) is rooted in not loving. In this reflection, I’m focusing on good promises such as these: baptismal vows; marriage vows; vows made by priests, brothers, and sisters; having a child and inherently promising to raise that child to adulthood; signing a contract; making commitments with our friends; promising ourselves to get a degree; taking an oath of office. Then there’s a host of smaller promises we make every day: “I’ll pick you up at 6:00… If you sub for me tomorrow, I’ll sub for you when you need it… I’ve decided to sing in the church choir.”
Why do we make promises? First, because there are a gazillion things we can do with our lives, a vast array of ways we can use our time, energy, and gifts. We cannot do everything–not even every good thing. Promises help us to channel our lives into meaningful and productive actions. Promises give our life direction. Ideally, they help us to become the kind of person we really want to be.
Second, we make promises because we are weak human beings. Humbly we acknowledge that we do not always do the good we want to do–especially when we “don’t feel like it.” Some examples: we don’t feel like babysitting our grandchildren today, or going to choir practice tonight, or taking the car for an oil change. But family chores, choir practice, and car maintenance are small parts of larger promises we make as responsible adults. Promises, then, help us to persevere in doing good even when we don’t feel like it–because we said we would.
Promises unite us with one another. In some ways, promises are the invisible threads that hold society together. From the moment we were conceived, we were dependent on our parents’ incredibly selfless promise–namely, to care for us in the womb and beyond–whether our conception was joyfully welcomed, a great surprise, or a major inconvenience. Every day we rely on others–sometimes total strangers–to keep their promises. We rely on other drivers to stay on the correct side of the road (a promise implicit in getting a driver’s license), security forces to help keep us safe, the grocery store to sell uncontaminated food, the doctor to be competent and up to date, engineers to construct and maintain safe buildings and bridges, elected officials to uphold the law and to work for the common good.
Promises have to be flexible at times, of course. What times? When a friendship or a marital relationship becomes abusive or harmful… when illness or other circumstances prevent us from keeping a commitment… when a lesser promise has become incompatiable with a far greater one.
Jesus believed in promises. At his baptism, he heard God the Father saying aloud of him: “This is my beloved Son in whom I am pleased.” Jesus’ life and mission were rooted in his belief in God’s personal love for him. In fact, he experienced his primary identity as God’s beloved Son. Fr. Demetrius Dumm, in his book A Mystical Portrait of Jesus, says that in order to make a firm commitment (a promise), one must possess “a good sense of personal identity, which is possible only when one has experienced the love of God, usually expressed through the love of good human persons.” Being on the receiving end of God’s promises and other peoples’ promises to us, enables us to grow in our ability to make and live out the good promises we have made with one another.
And finally, Hannah Arendt, sometimes called a “political philosopher,” summarized well her philosophy of promises in these words: “We make promises to build trust, reduce uncertainty about the future, and bind ourselves to others.”
Let us pray:
Dear Promising God,
help us to become more aware of Your promises to us…
May we grow in gratitude for the promises others have made and lived out for us…
And may we continue to persevere in living out the promises we have made to You and to one another. Amen.
For reflection:
What good promises made by others in your early life have made a major impact on your life? How?
What are some of the most significant promises you have made in your life?
Are there some promises you made long ago that you are still keeping? that you have modified along the way?
Are there any particular promises of God that you lean upon to live your daily life?
********************************************
PS #1: I am giving a weekend retreat on Mary, Jesus’ mother, at the Villa Maria Spirituality Center in Villa Maria, PA. The retreat starts Friday evening, October 9 and concludes with lunch on Sunday, Oct. 11. Using scripture, prayer, music, in-put sessions, videos and artwork, we will walk with Mary through the light and joys of her life as well as the darkness and sorrows. There will be times for you to enjoy the quiet chapel, the farm, the fall trees, and the many scenic views of this lovely sacred space. For details check out their website at vmesc.org or call 724-964-8886. I hope to see some of you there!
PS #2:
You’re invited to our SND annual Chicken BBQ and Boutique on Sunday, September 27 from noon until 5:00 PM. Where? On the campus of Notre Dame Cathedral Latin High School, 13000 Auburn Road, Chardon, OH. I’ll be in the “Book Nook” (in the cafeteria) from noon until 3:00. Stop by and say “hi.” I’d love to meet you!
***********************************************
For our video today I chose the song “His Promises” by Hillary Weeks. She describes the song as a listing of some of God’s promises to us in the Bible. I hope you may find comfort and strength from this video.
Don’t forget to leave a comment below if you wish. We love hearing from all our readers!
