Sometimes when we think of the word “holiness,” we picture a cloistered nun kneeling in chapel for prolonged hours, or St. Damien ministering to the lepers on Molokai, or St. Teresa of Kolkata tending to a dying man in the street. In other words, we tend to equate holiness with extraordinary religious practices, total selflessness, and journeying to faraway lands. But here is a parable I wrote several years ago about holiness.
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There once was a farmer who wanted to become holy. So he decided to leave his wife and children for a few days and go visit the holy man who lived on top of a nearby mountain. “The holy man will tell me the things I have to do to become holy,” said the farmer to his wife. He kissed his family goodbye and left on his journey. He had not gone very far when he thought, “I’m feeling holier already. Although I love my family, my wife’s nagging gets on my nerves at times. And my children’s constant clamoring for attention wears me out. And my neighbor’s frequent requests for help prevent me from praying as much as I would like.”
After walking for a day, the man came to the foot of the mountain and began to climb. After a little while he said, “Climbing this mountain is hard work. It is even harder than hoeing my fields and tending to my animals.” He concluded, “Surely the penance of this climb is making me more holy already.” After two days of climbing, the man ran out of food and was forced to eat the plants along the path. “I am half starved,” he said. “And these weeds are bitter. I already miss the good porridge my wife makes for me every morning. But surely this fasting is making me more holy.”
On the third day the farmer reached the top of the mountain where he met the holy man sitting in prayer outside his cave. While the farmer explained his reason for his visit, the holy man listened attentively. The farmer ended his story by saying, “So please tell me, Sir, what must I do to become holy?” Without hesitation, the holy man replied, “Go back to your family, your farm, your village… Be patient with your wife and appreciate her more… Be attentive to your children. Balance your firmness with kindness… Be helpful to your neighbor… Hoe your fields, tend to your animals, eat the foods you grow–and do all with gratitude. If you do these things well, you will indeed become a holy man.”
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The parable points out that while prayer, penance, and fasting are praiseworthy religious practices, they do not automatically lead to holiness. Rather, the path to geniune holiness passes through the ordinary circumstances of our everyday lives. True holiness is found in things such as these: in facing the challenges and joys of sustaining life-giving relationships… in dealing patiently with the normal tensions involved with living and working with others… in being faithful to our daily duties and responsibilties… in reaching out to our neighbors in need–even when inconvenient.
This truth is demonstrated in the lives of many saints–such as St. John Neumann (my fellow Czech!) Born in Bohemia in 1811, he was ordained a priest in New York. For years he ministered in immigrant parishes in Buffalo, Pittsburgh, and Balitmore. In 1852 he was named the fourth Bishop of Philadelphia, at that time the largest diocese in the United States. He died in 1860. During his beatification process, the Sacred Congregation in Rome declared that his life seemed “a series of ordinary everyday actions.” Years later, Pope Benedict XV would say regarding him, “Work, even the most simple, performed with constant love in the midst of inevitable difficulties, spells heroism.” It spells holiness too!
For reflection:
Did any words in the parable stand out for you? If so, why?
How did the farmer’s idea of holiness change from the beginning of the story to the end?
What specific aspects of your ordinary life elicit from you love, patience, generosity, kindness, courage, gratitude, heroism? In other words, what aspects of your ordinary life provide you with the “ingredients” for holiness?
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PS: This week I am making my annual retreat in the company of our SNDs in Covington, KY. I promise to pray very specially for all the readers of my blog. I thank God for your interest in spirituality, your wise comments, and your example of living your faith with love and hope! I ask for your prayers too. Thank you!
Today I chose a song by Bernadette Farrell called “Everyday God.” This contemplative song sings of God’s presence in our everyday lives. We believe that in the circumstances of our everyday, God provides all we need to become holy women and men. What circumstances? The song lists many of them: In our resting… rising… sorrow… laughter… working… hoping… waiting… sharing… dreaming… daring… searching.
Please share below any thoughts you might have on this reflection. We love hearing from you!
29 Responses
Thank you for your thought provoking article. It has opened my mind to more ordinary moments we are called
to be holy.
I wish you safe travels to your retreat.
Thank you for this reflection-so simple, yet profound. What a beautiful way to start the day! I love the hymn Everyday God! May God bless your future endeavors.
Good morning, Sr. Melannie,
Good morning, all…
Such a beautiful way to start the day — this “everyday.” Let’s start with your parable. Just perfect! There’s that old expression, “Charity begins at home.” Holiness does too. In chapter 31 of his Rule, Saint Benedict writes, “Let them regard all the vessels and goods of the monastery as if they were sacred vessels of the altar, aware that nothing is to be neglected.” In our 43 years of marriage, we have never had a dishwashing machine; we’ve always washed our pots, pans, plates, and silverware by hand, and we’ve always regarded that soapy, sudsy chore to be a satisfying and prayerful experience. In a sentence or two I will be outside watering the plants and If I’m lucky, I’ll catch sight of the two cardinals currently building a nest in a fake flower wreath that hangs on our front porch! Can’t get much holier than that!
Thank you sister Melannie. I greatly enjoy your weekly post.
So did I, Bob.
Reminded me of my very special Father, Bob!
He was also a farmer, in South Africa, and without saying so was a truly ‘holy’ person who loved his family.
He only left home to take part in WW2 , and thank God came home, to marry my Mother.
Love everything you have posted.
Thank you so much Sr Melannie 🙏🏼
Good morning Sister,
I love everything about this post! What a beautiful reminder that holiness begins in our hearts and homes and is easily nurtured by every day mindfulness in work and tasks. The song and video are beautiful. Thank you so much!
The images were perfect for the song. A lovely start to a new week.
Thank you for lifting my spirit and reminding me to find holiness in my ordinary everyday life. Godspeed in your travels and may your own spirt be refreshed during your retreat
Blessings, Melannie!
May you meet God in the Garden of your retreat, the place of Resurrection. I give thanks for you and the message you carry from our Father. Peace-Prayers-Pat
Loved this post today! It reminds me that how we choose to respond to opportunities & challenges in our everyday life are God’s way of enlightening & leading us on the path to holiness.
Thank you once again for your blog which is truly a gift you give all your followers.
Thank you Sr. Melannie for your beautiful parable and today’s song. I’m reflecting on this past week of events for my family and this just sums it all up. God is there for us in ordinary life but we look for the extraordinary. We think that we have to have the “ whiz, bang, over the top” experience to truly be holy when all we need to do is the everyday ordinary life that we’ve been given. And doing it with love. This is what my sister did day in and day out. Because of this, she was not anxious or afraid to meet her God. At her funeral the priest told us that he was a little surprised that she told him that, but that was due to the way she lived her life.
May our good God provide you with many blessings during your retreat. You will be in my prayers.
Beautiful and uplifting.
Beautiful…blessings for your retreat! You will be in prayer especially .🌷
Your blog was great. A good reminder to start my everyday menial work. Just wanted to tell you, if you are ever in Augusta, MO which is 50 miles from St. Louis, stop in for brunch at the Sunflower Farm Cafe. We, part of my family, were there yesterday and, wonderful environment. They grow lot of their food. Thanks again for reassuring blog.
Thank you Melannie for the reminder that God isn’t asking us to do or be extraordinary. The holy people in my life live each day with love and compassion in everyday living.
Love the beautiful song video. Praying you have a blessed and peaceful retreat.
Beautiful rounding of the circle of what it means to be holy. Thank you, Sr. Melannie!
The song fits perfectly.
Have a wonderful retreat, too.
My deepest sympathy to Martha on the loss of your sister.
Thank you, Pat.
Many years ago a very wise nun I had in 5th grade permanently imprinted this whole idea for me when she said ” to be holy we must be the best whatever God intended us to be. That means a cat must be the best cat it can be and a flower must be the best flower it can be — and we, created in His image and likeness, must be the best people we can be.” And just like that farmer, we need to be sure we actually KNOW what that means. Thanks for the reminder — Sister William (my teacher) is smiling somewhere in the kingdom, I’m sure (that I even remember what she said a LONG time ago.
Beautiful message, song and pictures. Thank you for a few spots moments with God.
Melannie,
Thank you so for your Grace filled reflection.
May this special time of retreat be filled with God’s loving presence, blessings and grace.
May your spirit be renewed and refreshed.
Prayers,
Jane, CSA
Beautiful!! St. Therese, the Little Flower was one who taught the “Little Way” I was named for her and have thought often of this and what you have written. It is true, but we tend to think BIgger things are More important.
I guess that way we feel more important.
It is a hard lesson to practice and a humble one.
Thank you sister and have a wonderful retreat.
Melannie, please know I am praying for you as you are in retreat with your community this week! Several of us in our Motherhouse are doing extra jobs because five sisters are having a meeting in Grand Rapids this week. I loved reading your note: Holiness passes through the
ordinary circumstances of our everyday lives.
Have a blessed retreat Sister Melannie! A great reminder to find holiness in the ordinary tasks of life. Praying for you.
A great reminder Sister Melanie – that most of us are just ordinary people doing ordinary things. When we learn the importance of doing these ordinary things with love and praise, that’s when we grow in holiness and keep getting blessed. Love reading your posts. Thank you. Have a great retreat.
Thank you Sister, I need to print this out and meditate on it often, this type of spiritual “grounding” is very helpful. Being a husband and father of two, this hits home!!
Blessings on your retreat. With my husband experiencing cognitive issues and my world having a new look because of the challenges — it’s those simple ordinary moments that speak to me as blessings and moments of love and strength. You’re in prayer.
Thanks Melanie. Have a great retreat —- no work! Hard to do!
Peace!
Joni
You always remind us that it is in the everyday things that we all do each day that we are called to appreciate all we have blessed with. We also learn that doing things with kindness in our hearts is what we can all do. Thanks for your words of wisdom!