Humor Time Again
If you’ve been reading this blog for a little while, you already know that one of my big pieces of advice is this: Hang on to your sense of humor! So today, here are a few items that I hope with bring a smile to your face. A few of these may make you groan—but that’s okay too!
1) My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
2) The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
3) Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a plastic lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
4) I run like the winded.
5) The lawyer opened the will of a deceased client and said to the eagerly awaiting heirs, “This is a surprise! He left it all to me!”
6) A boy went into a toy store, picked out a miniature car, took it to the cashier and handed him some Monopoly money. The cashier said, “This money isn’t real, Kiddo.” The boy replied, “That’s okay. Neither is the car.”
7) We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million computers will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the internet, we know this isn’t true.
8) Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind. It’s over your head.
Okay, okay I can hear some of you groaning. So let’s move on to a few funny definitions:
9) Synonym: a word used in the place of the one you can’t spell.
10) latte: Italian for “you paid too much for that coffee”
11) feet: a device used for finding legos in the dark.
12) immature: a word used by boring people to describe fun people
13) don’t try this at home: it means “try this at a friend’s house instead”
14) teenager: when you’re too young to do half the things you want to do and too old to do the other half
15) smile: a curve that sets everything straight
Now it’s time for some books. How about these culinary classics?
War and Peas… Lord of the Pies…
Animal Flan… Quiche 22… Pride and Prunejuice
And here’s a list of phrases we say today that (believe it or not) we owe to Shakespeare:
In a pickle… heart of gold… vanish into thin air… laughing stock…
dead as a doornail… good riddance…
send him packing… lie low… wear your heart on your sleeve…
brave new world… makes your hair stand on end… and wild goose chase.
And finally, here’s an answer to that questions we’re all asking: Are computers masculine or feminine?
A teacher gave that question to his class of adults. He then split them into two groups, women and men. They were to give their answer to the question and then give four reasons for their decision.
The women decided that computers are masculine because:
1) in order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2) they are full of data, but still clueless.
3) they are supposed to help you solve your problems, but most of the time they are the problem.
4) as soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better one.
The men decided that computers were feminine because:
1) no one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2) the language they use to communicate with each other is totally incomprehensible.
3) even your smallest mistakes are stored in their long-term memory for later retrival.
4) As soon as you commit to them, you spend half your disposable income on buying accessories for them.
Did you any of these make you smile or laugh? If so, which one(s)?
Under comments below, free to add something that you found funny…
PS: This past week I led a retreat in Philadelphia for about 50 Medical Mission Sisters and some of their associates. It was an enriching week for me personally. Many of these sisters have served all over the world. I heard comments like: … 51 years in Pakistan… 37 years in Ethiopia… 21 years in Peru… 14 years in Afghanistan… 9 years in Ghana plus 17 years in Uganda… I especially want to thank Sandy for all she did to make the retreat run smoothly. And thank you, Sister Elona, for recommending me to give this retreat for your beautiful congregation.
Our song today is “What Faith Can Do,” performed by the Christian rock group called Kutless, from Portland, OR. I liked the images as well as the words of this song. I guess we can say that faith can help us hang on to our sense of humor too…
I invite you to comment on this reflection below. We all love hearing from our readers!
ALL of them did!!! Thank you so much!!!!! 😄
I love to laugh
I could really relate to the synonym definition. Years back, before easy access to word spelling on line, I would use a synonym for a word I couldn’t spell!
I also wanted you to know that I did not receive this post, nor the July 31. In the past, In the past months, I was not one of the people who were not receiving your weekly post.
Thank you for brightening up my day each Monday!
I also did not receive this post today.
I’m not getting your emails anymore😢😢
Thanks for the laughs today!!! I needed that.
Loved the loose gravel!! Also, a great song.
Thanks to you as usual.
Thanks so much! I love Sunflower Seeds, but
I still don’t get your posts.
Once again did not receive your blog and it is now Wednesday.
Melanie, I don’t know but I haven’t been receiving your weekly emails for 2 weeks now. I went to google to find you.
Sister, I did not receive the August 14th post.
Melanie, your blog is not coming to my email for sometime now. Help!
Sister, I loved all of the funny things you posted. Needed to laugh because I just got home after spending several days in the hospital. But as I already commented, did not receive it in my email like usual. I am going to your website to find you. Just an FYI, and although I’m sure your IT people know this, when this happened once before a long time ago, I was told it was a “broken link”. Maybe that will help. Blessings as always!
Had to add another comment. The one with the owl made me laugh out loud!
Reading your Living Faith reflection this morning (for the 21st Sunday in ordinary time), reminded me that I needed to catch up on your posts since I don’t receive emails anymore. I’m sorry you’re having issues and I’m grateful to you for several happy groans. If I post one or two of your funnies on my blog, should I credit you as the author, as the person who did the comedic research, or would you rather I not use any at all?
I’ve encountered some of that “loose gravel “ lately. Thanks for renewing my laughter and love of life no matter what the terrain.
Melanie, I miss you. I have not received a sunflower seed since the one that Sr M Luke on the front page. Not sure what is happening.