When we pray, should we use our own words or someone else’s words? I believe the short answer is both. There are times we use own words and times when we use the words of others. In addition, there are times when we pray with no words–as when we sit in silence and awe, or when our tears or even dance become our prayer. But in this reflection, we will explore some of the values in praying with someone else’s words.
As little children, we might have been taught to pray to God in our own words: “God bless Mommy and Daddy and Fido… God, make Grandma not sick anymore… Jesus, don’t let it rain on my birthday party tomorrow.” But probably we were also taught some traditional “already-made” prayers–like the Our Father, given to us by Jesus himself. Maybe we learned other prayers as well: the Hail Mary, “Now I lay me down to sleep,” or “Angel of God, my guardian dear.”
When we pray at Mass, we are using mostly the words of others. At most liturgies, only the offertory petitions are not prescribed. At the Sunday Mass, even those petitions may be written by someone else. At our liturgies here at our SND center, several sisters take turns writing our petitions. The petitions are excellent–expressing in beautiful language the needs of our local, national, and world communities. I find them very prayerful. (special thanks to those Sisters!) At weekday Masses in some parishes, the congregtion is invited to add their own petitions spontaneously. From various parts of the church, you will hear petitions like, “For the healing for my father… for people suffering from addiction… for world peace.”
So what is the value of praying with someone else’s words? Here are four values:
Formal prayers can unite us to others. There’s a power in praying along with others in the words we all read together or know by heart–for example, praying the Our Father at Mass. It is a great sign that, despite our many differences (just look around the congregation!), we are united in our faith. So too, when we pray the “Lamb of God” together, we are joined with other believers–not only those at our particular Mass, but also those countless individuals all over the world who are praying the same words, each in their own language.
Traditional prayers unite us with Christians who came before us. These days there is a keen interest in ancestry. Reciting traditional prayers unites us with our ancestors in the faith. The Hail Mary, for example, is a prayer from the 6th century. Every time we utter this prayer we are united with our fellow believers from the past fifteen centuries. Fifteen! There’s a strength and consolation that comes with that knowledge. We are not alone in our faith. Praying the Hail Mary helped believers in the past to face their struggles and pains. That same prayer can help us face the challenges of our own times.
To constantly come up with our own words in prayer can be exhausting. Years ago, I lived in a large community of about 50 sisters where we took turns planning our daily liturgies. One day this note appeared on the chapel door for every sister to read as she came for Mass. “Today’s petitions are spontaneous. Please be prepared.” I laughed! I thought, “Even our spontaneity must be prepared?” But the sister who wrote the note was acknowledging that coming up with a petition on the spot, expressing it in good, clear English, and then reciting it aloud–all of that takes energy. Stanley Hauerwas, an advocate for praying other people’s prayers, writes that our religion “is constantly under the burden of re-inventing the wheel and you just get tired.” When we go to Mass or recite the Divine Office, we don’t have to start from scratch. The prayers are there. So too are the prescribed scripture readings and psalms. He concludes, “There’s much to be said for Christianity as repetition.”
Other people’s prayers can expand the width and depth of our own prayer. When we’re searching for a birthday card for a loved one, we look for a card that comes close to saying what we want to say. We rejoice when we find one. But sometimes we are lucky enough to find a card that says BETTER what we’re trying to say. By sending that card, we make the words on that card our own.
In her book, Prayer in the Night, Tish Harrison Warren, an Anglican priest writes, “Inherited prayers and practices of the church tether us to belief, far more securely than our own vacillating perspective or self-expression… When my strength waned and my words ran dry, I needed to fall into a way of belief that carried me. I needed other people’s prayers.” And lucky us! Often we can make the words of others our own!
I’ll conclude this reflection with a few short prayers of others that I particularly liked:
Here’s a prayer-poem by Christina Rossetti (1830-1894):
Lord, purge our eyes to see / Within the seed a tree.
Within the glowing egg a bird/ within the shroud a butterfly:
Till taught by such, we see / Beyond all creatures Thee:
And hearken for Thy tender word, and hear it, “Fear not: it is I.”
From Gregory of Nazianzus (325-390):
The morning breaks, I place my hand in Thine,
My God, ’tis Thine to lead, to follow mine.
“Awaken Us” – from Catholic Relief Services (contemporary):
Lord of all hopefulness, awaken us.
Show us the meaning in our toil / That we may ever rejoice in the promise of the seeds we sow.
Lord of all hospitality, awaken us. / Show us the refuge of eagles’ wings
That we may always be people of shelter in times of storm.
Lord of all freedom, awaken us.
Show us the courage that called our forefathers out of bondage.
That we may always stand with the bound and the oppressed, and be their companions.
Lord of all charity, awaken us.
Teach us of the unending return on our sacrifice / That we may rejoice more fully in our giving. Amen.
For reflection:
Do you use your own words in prayer, the words of others, or both? What determines which words you use?
Have you ever experienced strength or connectedness as you prayed aloud the same prayer with others?
Do you have any prayers composed by others that you like to say often? Which prayer(s) and why? Would you like to share the titles of those prayers with us below and/or a few words from the prayer?
PS #1: I ask your prayers for a zoom retreat I am leading this week for the Sisters of Mercy in Buffalo, NY. The retreat focuses on hope and runs from Sunday evening to Friday about noon. I will let the retreatants know you are praying for them. Thank you very much!
PS #2: Some have asked where I’ll be giving retreats that are open to the public. I’ll be in Rochester, MN May 15-21 leading a retreat at Assisi Heights Spirituality Center . This retreat is both in-person and livestreamed on Zoom. In addition, it is divided into two parts: Part I is Thursday May 15 evening to Sunday May18 noon; Part II is May 18 evening to Wednesday May 21 noon. There are two conferences per day: 9:00 AM and 3:00 PM (Central Time). You can sign up for either part or both parts of the retreat. Check the Retreat Center’s website for details: www.rochesterfranciscan.org. Click “News” and then “2025 retreats.” Or call: 507-282-7441.
July 13-20, 2026 I will be giving an in-person retreat at Our Lady of the Snows Shrine in Belleville, IL located about 18 miles east of St. Louis. You can check out their website, but details about my retreat probably won’t be listed until after January 1, 2026: [email protected].
Our video today is a beautiful prayer set to music. The poem was written by St. John Henry Newman (1801-1890), “Lead, Kindly Light.” The singer is Audrey Assad. I’ve used this song before, but it is one of my favorite prayer/poem/songs. And, since I write this blog, I get to pick the songs!… I hope it moves your heart as it moves mine…
I invite you to write a comment below–either to initiate the conversation or add to it! Many thanks! (PS: I do welcome suggestions for songs and videos…)
31 Responses
Thank you. You described my pray life perfectly. Whatever prayer I recite–our words, found prays, singing, chanting, silent, crying–opens my heart to the love of Christ. And, hopefully, to the love I need shine for everyone I meet.
I use both forms of prayer. About a month ago, I started following the more formal morning and evening prayers. As a Felician Associate, I find it binds me more closely to our community.
God bless!
Good morning, Melannie…
Good morning, all…
First, I did not know the Hail Mary is a prayer born the 6th century. I will forever keep that in mind anytime I pray it. The fact that millions of people still say a prayer over 1,500 years old is beautiful. And since prayer is eternal, that would mean our voice blends with every other voice that has ever uttered those words — including the angel Gabriel’s and Elizabeth’s!
Second, I have also found the psalms to be a ready repository of prepared prayer.
Thank you, Sister for your weekly blogs! I have from time to time pondered your topic on prayer today. After 30 some years, He answered my prayer with your beautiful blog!
The prayers I try to memorize, (I save them & copy them down) are from Maryknoll and Living Faith.
Yes, I feel God’s grace and strength from these prayers.
Peace by Maryknoll
Help us, O God, to be at peace.
You sent your Son to bring us peace.
It is up to us to carry that gift, that challenge, in our lifetime.
Help us to have peace in our own hearts.
The peace of a life lived well.
Peace in our homes and in our families.
The peace that comes from not being perfect, but from trying to live as you did.
Help us, O God, to be your people.
People of peace.
Amen
The prayers of others are also beautiful and needed whenever we have no words.
And I love to just sit in God’s presence and ponder his beauty and let him give me a big hug.
Blessings,
Father John
I love this prayer: “I commit my children and grandchildren into the hands of God‘s sure and infallible countenance with trustful confidence. “I don’t remember where I got it from, but it’s in my prayer journal next to the names of all my grandchildren. One of my favorite songs is “Great is thy faithfulness“ by Carrie Underwood and CeCe Winans. Thank you, Sister Melanie! I so look forward to reading your blog every Monday morning!
Thank you, Mary, my sweet and kind sister-in-law, for your prayer. I will incorporate it into my daily prayer for my children and grandchildren beginning today and forever.
From: Mary Ann Cluley (married to Mary’s husband’s brother, Kenny).
You introduced me to Sr. Melanie’s Sunflower Seeds years ago and I too look forward to reading her blog every Monday.
Many of my favorite prayers are ones written by you from which I have found hope, consolation and gentle humor.
I too have incorporated a special prayer into my life. “Thank You for another day of life. I reach out to all the world. I give to you all I am and all I have. I’m open to the gifts You have for me today. I touch the earth with awe, reverence and gratitude. Unite me to You today. Abundant peace, amen”.
I also have looked around the congregation when we share the common prayers of the Mass and realized we are one, at least in this moment and hopefully always. However, I have also contemplated a larger, worldwide congregation that shares the same basic liturgy, readings of the day, and common prayers. Does it matter that, although we might not know the language, we are in common prayer using similar words of others, and united in one Word, one feast of thanksgiving and praise? It does! Praise God!
Very soothing – Lead Kindly Light by Audrey Assad!
On my daily walks, I usually listen to my playlist of mostly contemporary Christian artists. Some days like yesterday, I leave the earbuds at home and fill my mind with rote prayers and intercessions. I always experience the presence of God on these walks without my buds.
Giddy up & God Bless!
Thank you…
I like st peters prayer…” Lord, save me!” And Jesus’s prayer..”forgive them, for they know not what they do”…
Peace
Amen
Good morning Sister and all,
I agree and pray with everyone’s responses this morning, and add that Scriptural quotes also make up another part of my prayers. I offer this verse from Phil 4:7:
“May the Peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, now and always. Amen.”
I found the lyrics and melody of Lead Kindly Light very prayerful. Thank you Sister, and God’s Blessings to all.
Good morning, Sister. This blog has been a real blessing. For a long time I’ve wondered if I’m praying “the right way” using other people’s prayers. It is such a comfort to know that others question using prayers not their own. I can’t remember where these three short prayers I use are from, but they remind me of God’s goodness in ALL things.
1) Father, I need Your wisdom and guidance for all my interactions.
2) Thank You, God, for answered prayers that I never even prayed.
3) Thank You for everything good that’s coming, loving Father. Please help me to look forward to You today.
Thanks to all of you for the insight and prayers. Thank you, Sister, for your weekly blog. It is the perfect start to the week after a restful Sunday.
I greatly appreciate your essay today and the responses of your readers.
A stimulus to my prayer often recalled is a saying attributed to a Muslim:
Your cry, “O my God,” is my answer, “I am here.”
It reminds me of Jesus’s words, “I am with you always.” And his parting gift to his followers
of the Holy Spirit.
I also use both forms of prayer. I’m blessed to serve in our church’s Homebound ministry. Often when I visit the Memory Care units I’m not able to offer communion to many of the residents, so we pray together or I sing an old hymn. It’s so beautiful to see their lips moving mouthing the words of prayers or hymns. They hold the memory of these dear prayers deep within their hearts.
In 2008 mu cousin, Sister Mariella OSF gave us a tour of Assisi Heights, her mother house, in Rochester. It was an amazing place and recently then , bought by Mayo Clinic.
The sisters founded St Mary hospital and the Mayo Bothers were indebted to them and later bought their building and aieconditioned and remodeled it for them in gratitude,
That is where she died before the pandemic. I hope you will tour the clinic buildings and hear a carillon concert some evening soon at the clinic campus.
Good Monday Morning Sister Melannie,
My daily walks are for thought and to listen to God’s surrounding, lot to hear. Giving thanks for these times and opportunities are treasured. Even the cold north wind of MN has something to add. Thank you for your Monday UPLIFTS.
I have thought about other peoples verses my own prayers for some time. With no conclusion. I am at peace using both types every day. It started with saying i will pray for you and then forgetting the name. Now I write the name down and do the prayer of intercession for them. I am so blessed to have the time to pray in both modes.
Great and meaningful video. Here is a poem/prayer my mother wrote many decades ago
Hope is not the closing of our eyes to the difficulty, the risk or the failure
It is a trust that if l fail now—I shall not fail forever
That if I’m hurt—I shall be healed
That life is good and love is powerful
That I shall find myself and others and God
Today I read In Give us this day…….”drop your script” and I realized I was giving direction to God. “my script needs to be set down so that I can hope and Receive.”
A revelation to me!
Sr Melanie, since the Sisters of Notre Dame of Cleveland taught me in elementary school (Out Lady of Victory in Washington DC) and the Sisters of Mercy taught me in high school, I will certainly pray for the success of your retreat this week. (I wish that I could be a fly on the wall!) I, too, use a combination of prayers written by others and my personal ones. There was a prayer in our church bulletin during the pandemic that I’ve held on to–it seems to apply today:
“O Lord, keep me in the shadow of your wings at this time of difficulty and distress. Sustain and support the anxious and fearful, and all who are brought low, knowing that nothing can separate us from your love.” I love today’s hymn–it reminds me that light will overcome darkness! I send many prayers your way for your retreats and in thanksgiving for the hope that you have helped me hang on to!
I love praying with others’ words during the petitions of mass when the entire congregation can spontaneously share their intentions. It is so beautiful for people to show their vulnerabilities in that moment and everyone lifting up their hearts to them.
I discovered this poem in the Liguorian magazine’s May 2021 issue and have had it on a steady rotation for morning prayer and reflection.
My Cup by Glenda Wiegard
The day has begun The sun is up, What will the Lord today Pour into my cup?
My cup is ever so full I don’t always like what I see, But God knows my deepest needs He is so good to me.
Some days it is overflowing With his presence, joy and peace, There is no darkness or gloom I wish the day would never cease.
Some days the cup still runs over It seems to be filled with strife, I wonder where the Lord is, Can I accept this cup of life?
But there is no better way to Jesus For he is always there, As I willingly drink from my cup of his peace, his love, his care.
We’ll, now I have a new favorite song❤️ also, could not live without the psalm prayers.Thank you!
The St Michael prayer is a big favorite of mine. I find myself saying several times on many days. Our world needs St Michael to help us fight the battle with Satan. Satan’s power is very strong right now in our world. Thank you for your thoughts on prayer — sometimes we probably all wonder if there’s a right or wrong way to pray.
Good morning Sr. Melanie and all. I almost always use other people’s words and prayers. One I pray every day is from St John Henry Newman.
Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with may feel Your Presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me but only Jesus!
Have a fantastic day!
Hi Sr.Melannie,
Just has to share this with you. It was typed on a tiny piece of yellow paper that you gave me while we were at NDC….
Dear Lord,
I feel so far from you today
And I think it was me who did the moving.
I still have that paper in my Bible and I think of you every time I see it!
Exact words:
Dear God,
I feel so from you today,
I was so close just yesterday.
And, I believe it needs no proving
That I’m the one
Who’s don the moving! SMM
I pray using my own words, others’ words and often with no words. I also use music as my prayer.
A favorite prayer of mine is the Gospel Antiphon in Night Prayer in the liturgy of hours. “Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake, watch over us as we sleep, that awake we may keep watch with Christ and asleep rest in His peace.”
Thank you for the beautiful song that you picked for this week!
God bless you Sr. Melannie, and God bless each of us! Prayers for you and those on retreat this week.