A little girl named Rachel lived with her parents in a small apartment in New York City. One day, her grandfather came to visit carrying a small paper cup. Rachel hoped there was a treat for her inside the cup, but when she looked inside, all she saw was dirt. Her grandfather told her to put the cup on the window sill in the kitchen. Then she had to promise to put a little water in the cup everyday. “If you do,” he said, “something special will happen.” Rachel promised, and she did as she had promised. After a week of watering, though, nothing happened. After two weeks she became frustrated and wanted to give the cup back to her grandfather, but, remembering her promise, she continued to water the dirt. Finally, in the third week, something special did happen: two teeny weeny green leaves sprouted up from the dirt. When her grandfather came to visit again, Rachel excitedly showed him her tiny plant, saying, “All it needed was water, Grandpa!” But her grandfather said, “No, Rachel. All it needed was your faithfulness.” (from Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde’s book, How We Learn to be Brave.)
For me, faithfulness and perseverance are pretty much the same thing. For us Christians, the virtue of perseverance is about being faithful to God’s call for us. And what is God’s call for us? Essentially, it is to love God, love our neighbor, and love ourselves. I appreciate what Sue Monk Kid says about our call to love: “And when you get down to it… that’s the only purpose grand enough for a human life. Not just to love–but to persist in love.”
There’s an old proverb that says, ” Remember, that the greatest oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.” In one sense, every oak tree was once an acorn that persevered. But the acorn did not persevere in remaining an acorn. No, it persevered in growing and changing and developing. And, all the while, it was being radically transformed into a majestic oak tree.
We all know examples of individuals who persevered in loving and were transformed by that perseverance: the pair of ice-skaters who loved ice-skating so much they became Olympic champions; the elderly married couple who love each other so much they are still best friends after 60 years of marriage; the young couple who love their newborn child more than they ever imagined they could; and the 90-year-old nun in her congregation’s health care center who, despite her daily pain and growing limitations, still smiles and says “thank you” alot.
What factors enable us to persevere in this life-long undertaking of radical transformation? Although there are many, I’ll name two here: 1) discipline, and 2) a vision of the future. They are related. My favorite definition of discipline is from the author David Campbell: “Discipline is remembering what you want.” I would add, “It’s remembering what you REALLY want IN THE FUTURE.” The woman who wants to lose 25 pounds in the future, puts a photo of her younger, thinner self on the refrigerator door to remind herself of her goal. The sophomore in high school posts a pennant on her bedroom wall from the college she hopes to attend. The college senior majoring in engineering, imagines himself working on the construction of a new bridge. A vision of what we hope to become in the future can help us do the hard work of loving in the present in order to achieve that future goal.
Scripture is replete with references to peseverance. In explaining his parable of the sower, Jesus said that the seed that fell on rich soil represented those who, upon hearing the word of God, “hold it fast in an honest and good heart and bear with patient endurance” (Lk. 8:15). St. Paul urges the Corinthians to be firm and “steadfast” (1 Cor. 15:58). St. James wrote that those who “persevere… will be blessed in their doing” (Jas. 1:25). And throughout the New and Old Testaments, one of God’s outstanding attributes is perseverance. God is depicted as the Eternally Patient One, the Almighty Steadfast One, the Ever Faithful One who perseveres in loving us forever.
Let us Pray:
Loving God, you are the God of Perseverance.
Help me to persevere in the one thing necessary:
to become a more loving person.
Give me a positive view of discipline as “remembering what I REALLY want.”
May my strong vision of a “better me” in the future
enable me to do the hard work of loving in the present
to help make that “faithful me” a reality in the future.
O God of Steadfast Love, Eternally Patient One,
continue to call me to persist in loving,
“the only purpose grand enough for a human life” such as mine. Amen.
For reflection:
Name something you have persevered in for a long time–whether as a child… as a teenager… as an adult. What factors helped you to persevere?
Is there someone living or deceased that you admire for their perseverance? What obstacles did they face? I invite you to share a few thoughts on this person below.
Is there anything specific in this reflection that you want to remember?
I have two “spiritual treats” for you today. The first is a video entitled “Hold On” and the second is a link to the blog by Kathy Coffey, a wonderful writer and friend of mine. Her reflection this week is entitled “Welcome Home, Artemis II,” and it’s one of the best things I’ve read on the significance of the Artemis II mission for all of us. I hope you can find time this week to enjoy both of these wonderful additions to my blog.
The video: We all experience hard times… times when we find it difficult to pray, to have hope, to hold on. I chose this song for two reasons. First, it reminds us that “God promises to be with us even when we cannot see.” And second, we can lean on other believers when times are hard for us and allow them to hold on to us. The many readers of “Sunflower Seeds” are a “community of believers” who can help us to “hold on.” You, dear readers, do this through your honest sharing in the comments below and also through your prayers for all readers of this blog. I hope this realization can give all of us encouragement to “persist in loving”–especially when life is rough…
Here is the link to Kathy Coffey’s blog with her reflection entitled, “Welcome Home, Artemis II.”
I invite you to share your thoughts below… We love hearing from you!
30 Responses
Beautiful as usual thank much
Blessings
Kathy Kovell
Thank you Sr Melannie
Good morning, Melannie…
Good morning, all…
A very chilly morning here in Massachusetts, but perfect for the thousands of runners competing in today’s Boston Marathon. Talk about perseverance! 26.2 miles — in a row! — and a section of the race called “Heartbreak Hill.”
Many of the marathoners have qualified to run the course, that is, they have achieved a certain time based on the their age in another marathon that allows them to run the Boston Marathon. But there are thousands upon thousands who do not qualify based on time, but they are allowed to run because they fundraised for a particular cause — a type of cancer research, health care for the homeless, shelters for battered women, etc. These runners run for others. They are persistent in their fundraising, and they persevere for a body-battering 26.2 miles! May God bless them all!
Thank you for your blog. My mom persevered, in life and love of others.
She truly was an example of Christ’s light shining on others.
Thank you for this blog Sr. Melannie!
I persevered in getting a doctorate in my 40s. Lots of prayers and effort but finished when so many dropped out around me.
Good Morning Sister Melannie,
Little did my mom know that my dad was putting acorns in the dirt of her house plants. Low and behold those new little green shoots would appear. There is still one of those mighty oak trees in the back yard of the house of our youth. Dad named it Bennie Oak after his newest grandchild. When I am in my hometown I still drive by to see the progress of Bennie Oak and hope it has not been cut down.
You brought back a treasured memory for me this morning. Thank you.
Thank you, Sr. Melannie for such a timely reflection. I’ve been thinking a lot about community and how we can’t get to heaven without it–we help each other get there and when we try to go it alone, we are missing the point.
Nonetheless, I’ve struggled for nearly 20 years in a marriage that has felt incredibly lopsided and lonely, only to find out recently that my spouse is likely on the spectrum. He isn’t hurting me on purpose for not doing and saying the things he should or could in our marriage and with our boys. He doesn’t know. That is a bitter pill to consider swallowing and so, yes, I can definitely relate to the song today, “Hold On”. What resonated to me the most was that when “you can’t hold on, We will hold onto you” and that, “God is there even when we can’t see”.
This is similar to what our pastor reflected on yesterday with the road to Emmaus. He said whatever road we are on, it’s our ‘road to Emmaus’ and Jesus is with us even though we don’t always see him.
So, as I consider next steps, and a long road ahead of us that seems very hard, I am going to ‘hold on’. I humbly ask for prayers from this community and I thank you for being ‘out there’. Thank you, Sister. God bless you today and always, as I know he has and will. 🙂
Praying for you Karen
Thank you, Linda.
Beautiful share, Karen, from you and your pastor.
Blessings
Andre, Perth, West Australia.
Yes, prayers, Karen. God bless you!
Karen, your words-he doesn’t know- touched my heart. Your story of lopsided and lonely, sounds so much like my own marriage of over 50 years. As my dh sinks deeper into depression and refusal to care for himself, I also cling to God for comfort. Prayers for you and your family.
My prayers for you, Karen, in such a difficult situation.
I had an uncle Jack, my dad’s oldest brother, who was very successful in business. He firmly believed that persistence was the great equalizer. It and it alone would help anyone to over come a lack of talent, or intelligence, or resources. Simply keep moving forward toward your goal, with your whole heart and soul, and most importantly with complete faith that you would in fact be successful. It is the key to success.
The Kathy Coffey article almost brought me to tears. Seeing the “bigger picture” of life and the world-profoundly moving.
Today is our 63rd wedding anniversary. Needless to say we are up in our years. Our lives have seen so many changes. We met in our early teens, married as we began our twenties, parents of three before thirty, and then working through various jobs. All through the decades, it has been our faith that moved us to hold on. Now retired and living the life of challenges that come with age, we still hold on to each other. Our faith community continues to hold on to us as we journey through to our heavenly future. We are so gifted and grateful. Simply said, God is good.
My stepson and wife learned to hold on through one of the most horrifying experiences a couple could ever live through. While he was in Iraq in ’03-’04, he had a relationship and consequently, a baby with an Iranian girl, whom he had promised to bring to this country.
His wife found out about this about 3 months after he returned home and received a call from this girl who told her the baby had just been born…..at the same time she had just discovered she was pregnant, too. Needless to say, his wife was beyond angry and hurt.
They stayed together, but she harbored much anger which led her to throw a glass of wine and a lit match at him one nite. He was able to jump into the shower immediately before too much damage was done. They continued to live together till the baby was about 9 months old, when she insisted he get out. Because he had visiting rights, the kids would absolutely fall apart every time he would take them back to their mother. Finally, she decided it would be better if they tried to work things out for the children. So, that is what they did.
I know they got lots of counseling and went on a marriage retreat……whatever it was, through the strength and guidance of the HS, they learned how much they truly loved each other and were willing to see the marriage through. About 22 years later they are still together…..that is certainly “holding on”.
May we all have the courage to “hold on”,
Mary
Thank you all. Prayers for Karen, Vicki and all that carry pain so that they with God’s help can hold on. Thank you to the Astronauts for their thoughts and courage and for all that support them in their journey. Thank you Sr. Melannie your words always bring me back to a better Place. Thank you all for sharing. God bless and prayers.
Perseverance – Mother Teresa whom I had the good fortune to meet and visit with in India.
Thank you that is so beautiful.It just came at the right time for me to give me strength and courage.
Dear Sr. Melanie,
What a wonderful blog, thank you. It was quite meaningful to me and the song choice, uplifting. The comments especially touched me deeply through the honesty shared, and support conveyed, by readers.
The blog today was so beautiful and meaningful, and the responses very touching and sometimes sad. It seems very timely after the Emmaus gospel yesterday with the disciples not recognizing that it was Jesus beside them on the journey. The song was so appropriate and brought back memories of times when others were there for me. I persevered in my goal to become an Oncology nurse until I achieved it at the age of 46, by the grace of God and the loving support of my family. I “held on” many times when it would have been easier to quit and I was blessed to have such a meaningful career where witnessed patients reaching out and “holding on” to each other.
Melannie Iwas encouraged by the perseverance of a good friend of mine; she had lots of health problems, 2 strokes, heart disease, and she was always smiling and making you laugh with her Irish wit. Even till the day before she died she still told jokes and mad me laugh. She died of a massive stroke but she went peacefully with her family and friends around her. She is angel and she is always there to help when I need something. May she Rest In Peace.
Thank you for these beautiful examples of perseverance. One year ago, on Easter Sunday, my husband went in to Kidney Failure. It has been a long journey for us and still struggling day to day. Through it all, we both have relied on our Faith to pull us through. My husband keeps stating that God saved him for a reason. Perseverance has been the key to recovery, and we thank the Lord everyday for his guidance and strength!!!
Another truly inspirational blog today. Prayers for Karen and the tough road she is traveling, along with prayers for this wonderful group of blog followers.
May God’s blessing shower down on all of you and especially Sr. Melanie.
A few years ago I was dealing with very serious anxiety that affected me physically as well as mentally. I was blessed enough to find a provider who pointed me to a self-help program she said I should try. It required a minimum of 6 months of DAILY commitment to an hour-plus of “working on myself.” I thought ” I can do this for six months” because I was very motivated to solve this problem. At the end of six months I KNEW I wasn’t ready to end the commitment because I felt so much better but not stable. I ended up continuing for a bit over a year total. I am not a “stick to it person” but that was the best time I’ve spent in my life looking after myself. With God’s help and lots of prayer (I prayed before every session, every day) I am “back to being myself” as my husband likes to say. When I started I really didn’t know if the program would help, but with commitment (faithfulness) it was my miracle that gave me my life back. I hang onto that knowledge — I DID it and will always remember the feeling when I just knew I could taper off and finally not do the required every day — I also know that the knowledge of how I did it is still there as my quiet reinforcement when I feel I may be slipping back to old behavior. I was and am truly blessed to have found the right person, the right program and the grace of faithfulness to see it through.
The “vision” of “Laughing Christ” has dramatically improved my friendship with Christ (John 15:15). Different from the vision of the cross. Friendship with Jesus – a virtual clink of a glass at happy hour, morning cup of coffee and discussions with a friend during the day help build this relationship.
First,
Thank you, Sr. Melanie, for another of so many, many beautiful and significant sharing and reflecting.
I am always lifted up just by seeing your name as author of a reflection in one of our daily reflection books.
Your goodness and honesty and hopefulness, beautiful humanness and Love always touch and help my heart and soul.
, My wife and I have been married since 1983.
RE: Not knowing about the reasons or why’s:
I have adult ADHD, and only a few years ago began to receive expert psychological insights and help understanding and going forward when my wife told me that it was time. We both knew of my condition since 2012, but I had relied on medication without keeping up on the psychological developments. She agreed to join in couples’ therapy after that.
The MOST IMPORTANT part of my progress with all of my stuff-
(anxiety, planning, control of emotions (intensity in negative), fears of disconnect, abandonment, insufficiency, unqualifiedness, procrastination, time management, etc, etc, )-the MOST IMPORTANT part of my progress has been my feeling my wife’s desire to learn and be “with me” , and to “get me”, as we have gone forward with the “us”.
We were sincere in our wedding vows( “”Always and Forever” song), but we had not realized through the years (and all the business in this and that) reasons for and effects of actions and reactions, doing and not doing.
So, I am blessed to have a wife who put up with all of my amplified unfavorable characteristics and now knows that I did not mean to have done and not done things, and never wanted to let her down or disappoint or not understand her.
And she and our daughters believe me- that I did not realize –
And how she did not understand and I have learned of my misinterpretations of her ways of handling this or that. Our three daughters’ understanding and support has also been all superlatives.
My wife and I are much closer than ever now ((Hafiz poem A Legitimate Question and Feeling Compelled reveals (“about lovers passing time, and magical tools you have in a shed”)).
On the spectrum- the only detailed insights I have re: on the spectrum is from the book Rex , which shows what believing in and working with a child can do.
I know what BELIEVING IN ME by my wife and daughters and friends and therapist teams have done for me.
.
Sr Melaine thank you for this lovely story. Will use it at a First Holy Communion here in Ireland on Saturday. It has a powerful message for the children and for all of us. Persevere in the watering!
Francis, How appropriate the little story is for the celebration of First Communion! I found it in the book “How to Be Brave” by the Episcopal Bishop Mariann Budde in Washington, DC. Thanks for writing “all the way from Ireland!” Melannie