Beginning a new year is a good time to take stock of our sense of humor. As I have often said, a good sense of humor is a sign of a healthy spirituality! So, here are some humorous things (hopefully!) to make you smile, laugh, or groan!
Let’s start with children. Sometimes children’s vocabulary is limited. So they have to use the words they know to get by:
My daughter didn’t know the words “cough drop,” so she asked me for a “medicine bean.”
My son called the first president George Washingmachine.
My son referred to a little boy in school as “a double kid.” The little boy had a twin brother.
My kid called her ankles “foot wrists.”
When the 4-year-old took a nap in the car, she denied having fallen sleep. She said she just had a “long blink.”
Here are some examples of kids just being kids:
While getting my two kids ready for a long road trip, I asked them to please not ask, “How much longer until we get there?” I said we’d be traveling all day and wouldn’t arrive at our destination until dark. An hour into the trip, my 6-year-old piped up, “How much longer until it’s dark?”
My 3-year-old pulled a chess board from a storage box and said, “I haven’t played this in years!”
I overheard my 11-year-old daughter recording her voice mail greeting: “Hi, you’ve reached my voice mail. When you hear the beep, hang up an send me a text.”
My little girl said to me: “Mom, you were my very best friend–until I actually got friends.”
I was writing in my journal at the table while my 10-year-old grandson was eating his cereal. He began watching me writing in cursive and said, “Grandma, you should learn how to print. Nobody’s ever going to be able to read that.”
My 6-year-old said to her crying little brother, “It’s okay to be sad. Sometimes we need to let our feelings out.” I said to her, “O, Honey, that’s so lovely. Why is he crying?” She said, “I hit him.”
One day my 7-year-old announced, “Most inventors are smart, but not the ones who invented homework. They are the worst inventors of all!”
Have you heard the rumor about butter? Never mind. I shouldn’t be spreading it.
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me not to go to those two places.
What state is noted for its small drinks? Minnesota.
Two men were on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouted, “How do I get to the other side of the river?” The other man yelled back, “You are already on the other side of the river.”
Label on an actual milk carton: Sell by October 23, 1538.
A historian said this during an interview on BBC radio: “I don’t believe in apologies, I’m sorry.”
Game show host to contestant: Which chapel ceiling did Michelangelo famously paint?
Contestant: The sixteenth chapel.
A correction in a British newspaper: “Twig Fields, of the newly-opened Walk-in Wardrobe vintage clothes store… was incorrectly quoted in last week’s News as describing herself as a ‘kleptomaniac.’ This should have read ‘collector maniac’ and we apologize for the error.”
Worrying works! Case in point: 90% of the things I worry about never happen!
And finally, here are some “signs of the times”:
Did any of these tickle your funny bone?
Would you like to add anything humorous today?
P.S. This is NOT a joke: I will be having hip replacement surgery on Wednesday, January 17. I have been working ahead on my blog, though, so the reflections for the next several weeks are already written and set to go. I ask your prayers for the surgery and the rehab. Many thanks!
A friend sent me this cartoon…
Unlike this horse,
I hope I am VERY pleased
with my hip replacement!
Our song today is a fun song by the Okee Dokee Brothers, Joe Mailander and Justin Lansing. Childhood friends who grew up in Denver, Joe and Justin were always doing stuff together outdoors. Today they are a Grammy award winning duo who write and perform songs especially for families. The goal with their music is to inspire children and parents to step outside and get creative. They have been featured on PBS, in USA Today, and the Sierra Club. Here’s the song, “Can You Canoe?”
Some of my favorite lines are: “Let’s keep it simple… our prime time entertainment will be lightning bugs and fires… we need no outlet or wires… sound waves on the water don’t need to be amplified… we all need a friend… to live in this current moment instead of looking around the bend…”
If you’d like to comment on anything today, please do so below. We love hearing from you!