Several times a year I devote my blog to humor. After all, humor is good for our physical health. Laughter enhances our intake of oxygen, stimulates our heart, lungs, and other muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by our brain. Laughter is good for our spiritual health too. Even the book of Proverbs says, “A merry heart is health for the body” (Pr. 17:22). I hope these jokes, quips, riddles, stories , and pictures, will help put a smile on your face.
Let’s start with a few jokes for kids. If you have any little kids in your life, you might want to try out these riddles on them:
Why did the cookie go to the nurse? Because he felt crumby.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What did the man say to his fingers? “I’m counting on you.”
What kind of a cat likes to live in water? An octo-puss.
Now here are three knock, knock jokes:
“Knock! Knock!” “Who’s there?”
“Howl.” “Howl who?”
“Howl you know unless you open the door!”
“Knock! Knock!” “Who’s there?”
“Figs.” “Figs who?”
“Figs the doorbell. I’ve been knocking for hours!”
“Knock! Knock!” “Who’s there?”
“Tank!” “Tank who?”
“You’re wlecome!”
Okay, let’s move this along with a few stories:
The lawyer opened the will of the deceased man in front of his eager family. He smiled and said, “This is a surprise! He left it all to me!”
A company owner was asked how she motivated her employees to be on time. She smiled and replied, “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.”
A boy went into a toy store, selected a toy car, took it to the check out, and handed the cashier some Monopoly money. The cashier said, “This money isn’t real, kiddo.” Said the boy, “That’s okay. Neither is the car.”
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your x. She’s never coming back and don’t ask y!
Fun fact: women spend more time wondering what men are thinking then men actually spend thinking.
My two children were watching me trying to assemble a swing set. Tightening the screws was hard for me, so I asked their father to help. He swaggered out and easily tightened the screws. My 3-year-old blurted out, “Mommy makes things, and then Daddy screws them up.”
What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “It smells like carrots over here.”
I invented a new word: plagiarism!
Words of wisdom:
When in doubt, look intelligent. (Garrison Keillor)
All you need is love. But a little chocolate every now and then doesn’t hurt. (Charles Schultz)
When kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finally finished, I climb out again. (Erma Bombeck)
You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. (Bob Hope)
People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys! (Mike Bechtle)
I love being married! It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)
Once again, a few more stories:
Mom: Where are your dirty clothes?
10-year-old: On the floor.
Mom: Where should they be?
10-year-old: On the floor where you can’t see them!
My husband showed our 5-year-old son a picture of himself when he was 16 and asked if he knew who it was. Our son stared at the picture for a long time before saying, “It’s me when I get bigger.”
I told a chemistry joke once. I didn’t get much of a reaction.
A computer translated these words from English into Russian: “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” = “The whiskey is agreeable but the meat has gone bad.”
What did the termite say when he walked into the bar? “Where’s the bar tender?”
My girlfriend treats me like God. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
And last but not least:
For reflection:
Did any of these items make you smile?
Would you like to add a joke or riddle or humorous story below?
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Prayer for Veterans’ Day
God of Love, today we honor all our veterans, those unselfish men and women who responded courageously to the call to serve and protect our country. With grateful hearts, we thank them for their service. And we ask that we all may continue the unending struggle to preserve our cherished freedoms and to work continuously for lasting world peace. Amen.
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One of my favorite lines from the pslams is this: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Ps. 30:5 KJV). In fact, I like those words so much, I chose it for the title for one of my books, With the Dawn Rejoicing: A Christian Perspective on Pain and Suffering. The words remind us that pain and sorrow do NOT have the last word! Joy and laughter do! That’s what Jesus’ resurrection is all about. In other words, we have hope not because everything is the way we want it to be–but because we believe in God’s power, grace, and promises… Here’s the song “Joy in the Morning” by Tauren Wells. I especally appreciate the lines: “If it’s not good then God isn’t done with it yet… Grace will be there when you’re at the end of your rope… The story’s not over.”
Please feel invited to share a comment below!
17 Responses
Sister Melanie,
I really needed the dose of humor and joy you have provided in today’s blog. I don’t comment very often, but you often say things that seem to fit the mood I’m in.
Thank you so much for lifting our spirits every week. You are in my prayers.
Thanks for the funnies !! 😁
Loved them all, but the phone was the best!!! Sooo funny. Also, since I worked at a library, the red books was FOR REAL!
Always made us laugh.
Thanks for your great blog, Sister.
How refreshing and absolutely great for a Monday morning.
As I sat down this morning for my daily practice, I checked my emails for prayer requests. There were no prayer requests this morning, but I opened your email and found myself laughing out loud. So, I come before God today with a heart filled with gratitude, love, and laughter. I am blessed. Thank you and many blessings to you as well. ❤️ PS Loved the song – she said it all!
I agree with Sue! Loved the “phone funny”!
A quick one: Two Irish nuns, Sr. Marie and Sr. Kathleen, are driving down a narrow road in Ireland. Suddenly, a vampire leaps from a hedgerow and stands in front of the car. Sr. Marie says, “Kathleen, get out and show that man your cross!” Sr. Kathleen jumps out of the care, confronts the vampire, and says, “Young man you’re such a disgrace and I’m so disappointed in ya!”
Thanks for the best way to start my day — with joy any laughter.
Life could be considered grim right now but God’s in charge so cheer up😂🥰
You blog brought joy this morning, particularly the one about marriage. My husband,John, and I are celebrating our 52nd wedding anniversary today!
Made me smile with every one…I agree with Sue – the phone was the best!! I learned over the past year just how valuable laughing is. I watch cat and little kid videos often to make me smile or laugh out loud. Thank you for the tribute to veterans. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran and appreciates the thank yous he gets everywhere when he wears his cap that proclaims his service. Have a blessed week.
Sister Melanie,
Thank you for the humor, just when we all need it the most!
I’m reminded of one of the funniest scenes from the Bible- Sarah snickering while eavesdropping on her guests and later denying it. How often we can become the butt of our own jokes and schemes, enabling us to build ourselves up in humility.
I have a lecture coming up…this one will definitely be part of it:
When in doubt, look intelligent. (Garrison Keillor)
I have a brother who was ordained as a minister many years ago, but I remember mostly the minister friend of his who gave a homily. He began by saying, “As I see it we both have a part in this….my job is to talk and your job is to listen. If you finish your job before I finish mine, will you please let me know”! Humor goes a long way in most any situation.
We must continue to look for things to make us smile and do/say things that make others smile in these days of grave concern.
Blessings all,
Remember the old saying, “when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”
Sister, I have been laughing and sharing the humor in the pictures with various family and friends. My husband even came over to see what I was doing and listened to the silliness.
Just what I needed to lighten my heavy heart.
Thank you for all you bring to us in your blogs. Most of the time they are just what I need!
Sister Melannie,
Thank you for the humor-filled morning. So needed.
I appreciate you.
Thanks for making me laugh so many times.
Just bought a t-shirt that said “Jesus Took Naps – Be like Jesus” Mark 4:38.
My daughter and I were actually laughing out loud with continuous smiles on our face. Great job sister and thanks for sharing the humor. Sister I have 165,000 followers on my Instagram and wondering how many you have? If you’re interested it’s called Pops happy breakfast.