A Little Easter Laughter
The Catholic Church has an ancient and venerable tradition that designates the Monday after Easter as “Joke Monday” or “Laughter Monday.” It was a day when Christians were supposed to tell jokes to each other in honor of Jesus’ resurrection from the dead—when Jesus had the “last laugh.” I’m extending that tradition to the week after Easter! So, here are a few jokes, riddles, comics, and puns. I hope some of these bring a smile to your face!
1. If you can call a librarian a bookkeeper, then can you call a referee a game warden?
2. Did you hear about the guy who sued the airline for his missing luggage? He lost his case.
3. What do you call an ordinary potato? A commentator.
4. I invented a new word! Plagiarism!
5. A priest went to a yard sale and bought a lawn mower. When he got it home and tried pulling the rope to start it, it wouldn’t start. Angry, he went back to the yard sale and told the man, “This mower won’t start no matter how many times I pull the rope.” The man said, “You have to curse to get this mower to start.” Said the priest indignantly, “I’ve been a priest for over 30 years. I have forgotten how to curse.” Said the man, “Father, you keep pulling that rope, and it’ll come back to you!”
6. When a kid says, “Daddy, I want Mommy,” that’s the kid version of, “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”
7. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy bear!
8. Last night the internet wasn’t working, so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like nice people.
9. You know you’re getting old when “friends with benefits” means having a friend who can drive at night.
10. For those of you who don’t like Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversations, they are making a male version… It doesn’t listen to anything.
11. What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
12. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador!
And now a little something from Reader’s Digest:
13. A Mom texts her son: “What does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?” Her son texts back: “I don’t know. Love you. Talk to you later.” His mother texts: “That’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister.”
14. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
15. I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament. It was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
16. When do cows go to sleep? Pasture bedtime!
17. A man was being tried for armed robbery. He waited nervously as the jury foreman read the verdict: “Not guilty,” he said. The man let out a hoot, jumped up, raised his arms in triumph, and then he asked, “Does that mean I get to keep the money?”
18. After the death of a good friend, my wife and I went to a Chinese restaurant to try to cheer ourselves up. The feel-good meal was fine–until I read my fortune cookie. It said, “You will soon be reunited with a good friend.”
19. The first young snake asked the second young snake, “Are we poisonous?” Said the second snake, “I don’t know. Why do you ask?” Said the first snake, “Because I just bit my lip.”
20. Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a TV show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.
21. Red Skelton’s tips for a happy marriage: “Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.”
22. George Burns said: “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.”
Before I go… here’s one last picture for you:
Did any of these tickle your funny bone?
P.S. #1: I will be leading a retreat next week (from Sunday April 23 through Saturday April 29) for the Mercy Sisters in Rochester, NY. The theme of the retreat is “Hanging onto Hope in our Beautiful and Imperfect World.” I ask for the support of your prayers! Thank you very much!
P.S. #2: I realize many of you are NOT receiving my blog anymore. And I know when you try to re-subscribe, you are told you are already a subscriber. And some of you tell me you can no longer write a comment. Your comments are blocked. This week we SND bloggers are meeting with the individuals who are responsible for managing our blogs. We have hopes that they will be able to “fix” these problems soon. We will also be working to update our blogs with new designs. Thank you for your patience–and your prayers!
Our song is Matt Maher’s Easter song, “Because He Lives.” May all of us continue to savor the good news of Easter!
I invite you to comment below or add another joke or funny story:
Good morning, Sr. Melannie!
Love your “levity blogs”! Is that “Department of Corrections” one real? If so, that’s hilarious! My wife would so agree with the one about Siri and Alexa! Remember George Burns in those “Oh God” movies? I wish more priests took his advice. I laughed out loud at 14 and 21! Prayers for your retreat! Those Sisters of Mercy are about to be blessed by your wisdom and wit!
Dear John, Yes, I like 14 and 21 too! And I laughed out loud at the priest and the mower and the Van Go! George Burns’ comment about a good sermon, also applies to the things we writers write, not so? Thanks again, John, for responding! Melannie
When you clean your vacuum, you become a vacuum cleaner.
“Mediocrates” reminded me of when, as a college student taking a theater course, I mentioned to my Italian father that I was reading Euripides. To which he replied, Euripides, you don’t get another pair. To which a friend replied, No, Euripides, Eumenides.
And finally, a high school sophomore taking his English final was asked to discuss his favorite text that semester. He wrote about the text his mother sent that they were having Subway for dinner. 😊
(The last two really happened!)
Dear Rose, I loved our Italian Dad’s comment! And your friend’s, “Euripides, Eumenides.” And I laughed at your student’s “favorite text”! It recalled something that happened about 10 years ago. A friend’s little niece, age 4, spotting our phone hanging on the kitchen wall, asked, “What’s that?” My friend said, “That’s a phone.” The little girl asked, “Why does it have a cord?”
Thanks for responding, Rose. It’s getting near lunch time for me, and I suddenly have this itch to go to a Subway… Melannie
Good morning! #13, the lawnmower one and the Van Goh. Actually they were all so good.
Have a great rest of your week. Enjoy your retreat.
Shirley, you and I agree on two of the best ones… Blessings on your week too! Thanks for writing! Melannie
Dear Melannie, I am so blessed by your ministry and your blog. I discovered your writings on the Give Us This Day app, and have several of your books and also purchased them for parishioners I visit as a Eucharistic Pastoral Care Minister. Recently, one of church members passed away..I took Holy Communion to her on Easter Sunday..and her parting words were “could you bring me more of Sister Melannie’s funny blog letters?” She passed the next day.😇
I thank God for your ministry and calling, and the gentle, loving and humorous way you share the scripture and thoughts on life. God has blessed you with a beautiful gift!
You are such a joy. We are so lucky to have you. Loved all of the jokes!! Read all your articles