“Preparing” for Your Own Death
In his book, Insane for the Light, Father Ronald Rolheiser tells of surviving cancer–only to have the cancer return several years later. His oncologist told him he would probably have only thirty months to live. That news, he says, “rocked me to my roots. I sat in prayer in a deep sadness.” But soon he realized “I needed a creed to make those last months precious.” He then wrote a ten point creed for himself. Here are four of his points:
I am going to make every day and every activity as precious and enjoyable as possible.
I am going to strive to be as gracious, warm, and charitable as possible.
I am going to strive to live a more fully “reconciled life.” No room for past hurts anymore.
I am going to strive to keep my sense of humor intact.
I was inspired by his words to begin to draft a creed of my own. After all, how can I be an octogenarian and not think about my own death on a fairly regular basis? I’d like to share a few lines from my own personal creed with you.
I will begin each day by thanking God for another new day.
I will end each day recalling a few of the highs and lows of my day and placing all of them into God’s loving hands.
I will try to be “present to the present,” that is, to the people and activities with which I am presently engaged.
I will look for “a thing of beauty” in every single day.
I will try to keep my complaining to a minimum and my thanking to a maximum.
I will acknowlege and embrace my need for other people: family members, friends, colleagues, readers, professionals, total strangers…. and most especially my need for God’s loving guidance and strength.
I will try to turn every worry into some concrete act of loving.
So far, that’s my personal creed. Or at least a rough draft. Perhaps you would like to draft a creed of your own. After all, November is the month the Church encourages us to take time to reflect on death. The month begins with the feast of All Saints (Nov. 1) and All Souls (Nov. 2). Our Mass readings focus on “the last things” and the end of the world. And the liturgical year comes to an end with the feast of Christ the King (Nov. 22). In the northern hemisphere, nature seems to support our reflecting on death. Most of the leaves have fallen to the ground, the days are getting shorter and shorter, and falling snows have already blanketed the earth in many places.
At the end of his creed, Fr. Ronald Rolheiser writes, “It has been nearly ten years since that dire diagnosis and, thanks to God and some very good doctors, I am still alive and wonderfully healthy–but still daily praying that creed.”
We don’t need a “dire diagnosis” to reflect on our own death. And such reflecting need not be gloomy. After all, the reality of our own death can instill in us this daily reminder: How very precious is God’s gift of my one, single, unique, and unrepeatable human life!
For reflection:
Is there anything in Rolheiser’s (or my) creed that stood out for you?
If you choose to draft your own creed, I invite you to share a line or a few lines with us below.
I have not prepared my entire funeral yet, but I will likely make a few requests for music. This song today will probably be one of them. I hope this short verse may be sung toward the end of the Mass at the “final commendation.” It is a contemporary hymn by Dan Schutte based on the traditional funeral song, “May the choirs of angels lead you into paridise.” But the words of this prayer/song are as follows:
Go now in peace faithful friend of God as you take our love into paradise.
God’s holy angels will lead you home to the wide waiting arms of the Lord.
In this version, these two lines are repeated several times in various harmonies. At my funeral, the choir/congregation need sing it only twice…
I invite you to send us a comment below…
The Celtic Knot: Celebrating the Blessings of Life
In September, I attended the celebration of a sister’s Golden Jubilee. Sister Maureen Burke, President of St. John School in Ashtabula, OH, was celebrating 50 years as a Sister of Notre Dame. And what a celebration it was! It began Sunday afternoon with a wonderful Mass in a parish church. Afterwards, the 300 guests proceeded to the beautifully decorated parish hall for a social and dinner. While guests mingled, an Irish band played and sang a vast array of Irish songs.
At each guest’s table place, there was a card with a message of thanksgiving from Sister Maureen. I was so touched by her words, I asked her if I could share them on my blog. She kindly said yes. The card featured a Celtic Knot similar to the one above. It is a decorative pattern built from continuous looping lines that pass over and under one another with no clear beginning or end. It symbolizes eternal life, the continuous flow of time, and the interconnectedness of the physical and spiritual worlds. Although the Celtic Knot is a hallmark of Celtic heritage, its form is shared by Roman, Greek, Germanic, and Norse traditions.
All of the invited guests had shared some part of Sister Maureen’s life: her immediate family, friends from her childhood, colleagues, fellow teachers, former students, other Sisters of Notre Dame, priest friends, business associates, etc. I remember thinking as I gazed at the crowd: every person here is connected to Maureen in some way. Each one has played a role in her life and ministry. On the back of the card, Sister Maureen wrote the following words. I couldn’t help but think how appropriate these words would be for other celebrations–such as a wedding, a wedding anniversary, a birthday, a graduation, a retirement party, and even Thanksgiving Day.
“Just like the Celtic Knot, our lives are intertwined. The twists and turns of the knot symbolize the unique path we have walked together navigating life’s ups and downs, side by side. Friendship has no beginning or end, remaining strong regardless of time and distance.
“I give thanks today for the many people who have walked this road with me. Each of you has been part of this story, part of the blessing God has written across these 50 years. You have created moments of “RescuedTime.” While we cannot truly stop time, remembering and cherishing our past allows us to reclaim its beauty and wisdom.
“In that sense, memory becomes a gift, one that lets us revisit moments that shaped who we are. In essence, “Rescued Time” teaches that while time passes quickly, love, memory, and gratitude allow us to hold onto what truly matters. You are a key part of my life, bringing sweetness and light as we walk the road together. With a grateful heart I offer a quiet prayer:
May the good we have shared continue to grow,
may our lives be forever intertwined,
and may we all walk with the certainty of faith that God will bless the days to come.“
For reflection:
Have you ever experienced friendship “that remains strong regardless of time and distance”?
What concrete things do you do “to remember and cherish the past”?
Take time this week to “revisit some moments that shaped who you are.” You’re invited to share one of those moments below if you wish.
How strong is your faith “that God will bless the days to come”?
It seems only fitting that we end this reflection with the “Irish Blessing.” I chose this choral version with lyrics.
As always, I encourage you to add a comment below…
Appreciating Autumn–even in a Dentist’s Chair
Recently I had to have some dental work done: a new crown. My dentist, Dr. Nick, is young, amiable, skilled, and even fun! When there was a pause in his work, I glanced out the October window and said, “I love fall! Do you?” Immediately he said, “Yes, I love fall too! It’s my favorite season!” Then he added, “Each year I pick out my favorite tree for that year. Two years ago it was a bright yellow tree!” And he told me exactly where the tree stood. Then he continued, “Last year I picked this brilliant red maple,” and he described where he saw it. The trees were just beginning to turn colors, so he added, “I haven’t picked out my favorite tree for this year yet.”
On the drive home, I was more attentive to the trees. It was still early in the season, so I saw only a few trees that had any color. Still, I resolved: I’m going to pick a favorite tree this year–being inspired by my dentist to do so! Do you have a favorite tree in the fall? If so, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
Some people think fall is a sad time of the year. They grieve to see the summer ending and the cold and darkness descending. Still, many of us love fall–the magic of all those colors, the donning of cozy sweaters and warm socks, football, pumpkin coffee (and pumpkin everything else too!), Thanksgiving, the general slowing down (for some!) Whether you love or hate fall, how well do you know this special season? I’ve put together a short quiz about fall. Can you answer these basic questions?
1. What causes fall? Fall happens because earth tilts away from the sun, giving either the northern or southern hemisphere less direct sunlight and cooler weather. We northerners are going into winter while our southerners are going into spring. 2. What’s the difference between fall and autumn? Most Americans call this season “fall” while the British tend to call it “autumn.” Prior to the 16th Century, people called this season “harvest.” 3. Why do the leaves turn colors? They don’t. The yellow, orange, and red pigments in leaves are always there, but green chlorophyll hides them. The chlorophyll starts to decrease as the sun weakens and the days grow shorter. This allows the beautiful colors to come forth. 4. Are squirrels dumb? Not really. They spend summers burying acorns and other seeds in preparation for the long winter. Sometimes they pretend to bury a nut if they know another animal is watching them to trick potential thieves. Also, researchers say squirrels get smarter in the fall which helps them remember better where they hid all those seeds. 5. Are pumpkins fruits or vegetables? They are fruits because they grow from flowers and contain seeds. 6. What’s the story behind carving Jack-O’-Lanterns? We have the Irish and Scottish to thank for this tradition. They first carved turnips or potatoes to scare away wandering spirits. In the 19th Century, the Irish immigrants brought their custom to the USA–only they used the native pumpkins they found here, because they were much bigger–and scarier.
There’s another reason I like fall. Many of us are probably afraid of death and dying. That’s understandable. But when the trees “die” each fall, their dying is so spectacular! They “go out” with a colorful flourish! I like to think God gives us these remarkable fall colors to ease our fears of dying. Maybe it’s God’s way of saying, “I know you are afraid of dying. But just look at my trees in the fall. Their dying is a beauty to behold, because their dying is not the end. The leaves they shed enrich the soil of the forest floor. And the falling leaves make room for new leaves in the spring. Always remember,” says God, “Death leads to new life. Trust me on this one!”
For reflection:
Do you like fall? If so, what do you like about this season? If not, what don’t you like about it?
Do you make time to enjoy fall? If so, how?
Do you have any fall traditions?
How do you feel or what do you think as you gaze at the fall foliage, walk in or rake the leaves, feel the nippy air on your face, or cozy up to a warm fire?
PS #1: Let us continue to pray for Pope Leo as he recoveries from successful surgery for lung adenocarcinoma, a common form of non-small cell lung cancer. And let us pray for all who serve us in the medical professions–especially those “unsung heroes” who devote their lives and talents to medical research.
PS #2: Last week a reader, Sister Mary Seton, offered this advice to those who are having trouble accessing our readers’ comments. She has not formally subscribed to my blog, yet she reads it every week. But she waits until Friday to google it. By then the current post comes up with the readers’comments. If you read my blog early in the week, you might want to go online later in the week to read the comments. The people who manage my blog have asked me to post it Sunday night, so I’ll post it at 9:00 PM. That way all 5,000+ subscribers should receive it on Monday. Let’s see how this goes this week.
PS: #3: Below is a picture I took Saturday morning from my second floor balcony. Here’s the rising sun (behind me) highlighting the fall trees in our woods, showing off their bright colors against the dark fall clouds…
I’m offering three videos for you today: a children’s song, a piano classic, and a Dolly Parton song. Pick the one you’d like to hear or enjoy them all–either today or during the week. All are short (about 4 mins.) and all have a fall theme:
Video #1: “Falling Leaf,” a children’s song. It invites movement for children–to twirl and spin and fall down and rest. I really enjoyed it. I though you might too–or play it for the children in your life.
Video #2: Pianist Roger Williams took the song “Falling Leaves” to the top of the Billboard chart in 1955. This is his appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show in January 1956. I will forever be amazed by his skill on the keys. He makes you see and feel those leaves cascadng to the ground.
Video #3: Here’s my tribute to Dolly Parton who recently passed away. It’s her tender song about her Mama’s great love shown to her through the sewing of “A Coat of Many Colors” one fall.
I welcome your comments on fall, on the reflection, on the pictures, or on the videos. Our readers (and I!) love to read your comments!
“As for me…”
I had a priest friend, Tom, whose personal email address began with this: as4me. It aroused my curiosity but, unfortunately, I never asked him why he chose those words for his address. He is deceased now, but I think I know where he got these “words” and maybe even why he might have chosen them.
The phrase “As for me” is found numerous times in the Bible. Perhaps the most famous place is in the book of Joshua 24:15. After the death of Moses, Joshua, Israel’s new leader, gathers all the tribes of Israel together and says to them, “Choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served, which were beyond the Euphrates River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living.” With these words, Joshua is underscoring the power of personal choice and personal commitment when it comes to faith. He then adds these crucial words: But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” He is telling the people, regardless of which gods you choose to serve, my family and I are going to serve the Lord, the God of Isarel.
This strong phrase is found in other places in scripture–either expicitly stated, or implied if you read the words in their context.
But as for me, I will walk in integrity (Ps 26:11).
I hate those who cling to worthless idols; as for me, I trust in the Lord (Ps. 31:6).
But for me, to be near God is my good (Ps. 73:28).
But (as for me) I will call upon the Lord (Ps. 55:16).
(But as for me) I know my redeemer lives (Job 19:25).
Someone has said, we cannot merely live the faith of our ancestors, that is, the faith of our parents, grandparents, or past generations. We cannot live the faith of a particular saint we love and admire. Yes, we can learn a lot about faith from these individuals. We can even be inspired and strengthened by their example of faith. But sooner or later we must discover and live our own faith. Our faith may, in significant ways, resemble the faith of our ancestors, the saints, and other people living today, but unless we make our Christian faith personal, unless we are intimately committed to our faith, that faith will fall short. It will probably be inadequate to help us face the specific rough storms and dark times we are apt to experience along life’s road.
Our faith has to be lived in our particular times. Previous generations had their unique challenges which formed the backdrop of their faith–for example, the persecutions of the early Christians, specific heresies, plagues, slavery, industralization, colonization, scientific discoveries. Closer to our times, my parents’ generation faced overt hositility to Catholics, the Great Depression, World War II, the most destructive war in human history. Some challenges of our contemporary times would include the widening gap between the incredible wealth of “the few” and the growing poverty of the masses, consumerism, the role of technology, climate change, the vast numbers of refugees all over the world, and the ever present nuclear arms race. Our personal faith is not lived in a vacuum but in the reality of the times in which we find ourselves.
One day Jesus asked his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” (Mt. 16:13). In other words, “As for other people, who do they say that I am?” The disciples gave him the results of the latest Gallup poll: “22% say John the Baptist, 18% say Elijah, 12% say Jeremiah, 19% say other prophets, and 29% are undecided.” Then Jesus asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” It was easy for his disciples to answer the first question. They just had to report what others were saying. But the second question was more demanding. Each disciple had to dig deeply into his heart and soul to begin to answer that one.
Jesus’ second question is the one we keep trying to answer throughout our lives. That question takes many forms. I offer you these for your personal reflection:
As for me, who do I say Jesus is?… As for me, what do I really, really believe?… As for me, how is my faith responding to the issues of my time in history? As for me, how do I practice and live out my faith in my daily life?
PS #1: I’m working with the team that manages my blog. Here’s one tip. If you, as a subscriber, get the notice about a new reflection on my blog and click it on, you should get the new reflection. However, you probably won’t get any readers’ comments because you are accessing the reflection as it was originally posted by me. To read the version with comments, I suggest you access my blog through google or safari or another search engine to get the current reflection–with comments–, and to add your own comment if you wish. My blog is posted at 1:00 AM (ET) every Monday morning. Then my 5,000 subscribers are notified. The team has sped up that notification from 30 emails every ten minutes to 100 emails every 10 minutes. You can go directly to my blog and not wait for the notification as a subscriber. Try this and see if it works. I don’t want you to be prevented from adding a comment or to miss the other readers’ comments, because the comments are a vital part of my blog! Thank you!
PS #2: Thank you for your prayers for this past weekend’s retreat I facilitated at Villa Maria, PA. The 37 retreatants were eager, lively, prayerful, and fun. I especially appreciated their sharing and good questions. Thank you to Rebecca for inviting me to return to Villa Maria. And thank you to Dominic who served us well as hospitality coordinator.
Our video today is “As for Me and My House” by Greg and Glenda Bostock from Blastoff Music videos.
As for you, is there anything you’d like to say below?
The Power of Our Attitude
The American philosopher/psychologist William James (1842-1910) wrote, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” I first came across these words as a young college student, and I have never forgotten them. My life-long experience (or I should say my long-life experience!) has reinforced the wisdom of these words. Our attitude, that is, the way we look at things–other people, a particular situation, and life itself–can indeed alter our life.
When I was teaching high school, for example, my attitude toward my students was extremely important. If, at the beginning of the school year, I thought, “I know these kids are going to be basically lazy, selfish, and wild,” that attitude would permeate the way I taught. How much better it was if my attitude was, “I can’t wait to meet these kids. I hope I can help channel their natural energy, curiosity, and goodness into meaningful and fun learning experiences together.”
A positive attitude toward life involves seeing things in perspective, often a wider perspective. We Christians have an advantage here, because we view everything against the backdrop of God’s unfailing love for us. We perceive the dignity of every human being and the need for community. We know the profound power of compassion and the importance of forgiveness. We believe in the power of Jesus’ resurrection and the strength of the Holy Spirit. We see creation as God’s gift to us, a gift to share with all others–incuding future generations. These beliefs (and many others) color the way we perceive reality. They influence our choices and decisions. They help determine the way we live our lives.
Because attitude plays such a crucial role in our lives, I went to my trusty quote collection and pulled out the quotes I had filed under “attitude.” Here are 12 for your pondering today:
1) As I am, so I see. Ralph Waldo Emerson
2) The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands, but in seeing with new eyes. Marcel Proust
3) I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it’s only a choice of attitude. Judith Knowlton
4) Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. Alphonse Karr
5) Miracles seem to me to rest not so much upon faces or voices or healing power coming suddenly from afar, but our perceptions being made finer, so that for a moment our eyes can see and our ears hear what is about us always. Willa Cather
6) An adventure is only an incovenvience rightly considered. An incovenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. G.K. Chesterton
7) The only disability in life is a bad attitude. Scott Hamilton, Olympic ice-skater
8) Attitude is the mind’s paint brush. It can color any situation. Barbara Johnson
9) We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms–to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. Viktor Frankl
10) Religion is not a way of looking at certain things. It is a certain way of looking at everything. Robert Segal
11) A child on a farm sees a plane fly over and dreams of far away places. A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of home. Carl Burns
12) And finally, this little story from Father William Bausch’s fine book, A World of Stories for Preachers and Teachers:
“The Town Traveler”
A man was walking down the road when he spied a farmer. He approached him and said, “Sir, I have traveled a long way and am thinking of settling in the next town. Tell me, what kind of people are there?” The farmer asked, “What kind of people were in the town you left?” The man replied, “Oh, it wasn’t so good. The people there were selfish, indifferent, just out for themselves. Couldn’t care less about you or what happened.” The farmer said, “You’ll find the same kind of folks in the next town.” The man thanked him and went in another direction.”
Later that day, another traveler passed by and asked the farmer, “Sir, I have traveled a long way and am thinking of settling in the next town. Tell me, what kind of people are there?” The farmer asked, “What kind of people were in the town you left?” The man replied, “It was hard to leave. The people sang with you in the good times and helped you in bad times. It wasn’t perfect, but the people were basically good and friendly.” The farmer said, “You’ll find the same kind of folks in the next town.”
For reflection:
Were there any quotes here that stood out for you? I’m curious to know. If you want to say why it stood out, that’s fine too.
Have you ever altered a situation by altering your attitude? Would you like to tell us about that experience?
Are there any specific Christian beliefs that help you to have a more positive attitude toward people or situations?
Do you have anything to add to this topic? I welcome your additions below.
PS #1: Last Saturday I gave at talk on Mary at Sacred Heart Church in Rock Creek, OH (now merged with St. Mary’s in Orwell to form St. Margaret Mary Alacoque Parish). Sponsored by the wonderful Knights of Columbus, the evening included Mass and a delicious dinner afterwards. What a joy it was to be gathered in a room with so many good and generous people of faith! I want to thank the folks who were there for making me feel so welcome! Special thanks to Laddie for convncing me to come and speak on Mary and for helping me with the details!
PS #2: I will be facilitating a retreat next weekend at the beautiful Villa Maria Retreat Center in Villa Maria, PA. The theme is “Walking with Mary through the Light and Darkness of our Lives.” There will be 34 participants. I’m eager to meet them! I ask you to say a little prayer for us. Thank you!
St. Paul tells the Ephesians, “Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus.” (New Revised Standard Bible) Another translation says: “The attitude you should have is the one Christ Jesus had.” (Good News Bible) Here’s a song by Kim Gentry Meyer called “I Need the Mind of Christ.” I liked the phrases: “I need the mind of Christ to cover me… to set me free.. to restore my peace of mind.” Let us pray that we all may more and more take on the attitude of Jesus toward all the people and circumstances in our personal lives as well as the people and circumstances in our larger national and global community.
I invite you to share a comment below. Your comments mean very much to me and our readers!
