Now that we’re celebrating the hope-filled feast of Easter, it is only fitting that we include a little humor in our festivities. For I believe that wholesome laughter can feed our virtue of hope. But I’ll say more about that on another day. For today, I hope these jokes, puns, and funny stories will add to our Easter joy! This blog is my Easter card to all of you. Happy, Happy Easter!

First, the children:

A firefighter was speaking to a first grade class about fire safety. As an introduction to the concept of “stop, drop, and roll,” he asked the children, “What would you do if your clothes were on fire?” One little boy said, “I wouldn’t put them on.”

A first grade teacher brought some well-known proverbs to class one day. She gave the first half of the proverbs to her students, and asked if they could finish them. Since most of the children were unfamiliar with the proverbs, they came up with some rather unique proverbs of their own:

• Better safe than … punch a fifth grader.
• Strike while the … bug is close.
• Don’t bite the hand that … looks dirty.
• Where there’s smoke there’s … pollution.
• A penny save is … not much.
  
  
  
  The Sunday school teacher was teaching the story of the Prodigal Son. She asked, “And who was not happy that the prodigal son came back?” One little girl replied, “The fatted calf.”
  

A woman with two toddlers struggled to find a moment of privacy. One day she sought refuge in the bathroom. She was sitting quietly, enjoying a moment alone, when the door burst open. It was her 3-year-old. “Oh, I’m sorry, Mommy,” he said. “Do you want to be alone?” She said, “Yes, honey. That would be very nice.” With that, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door. “There,” he said. “Now no one can bother us!”

The pastor was talking to a class of second graders after Easter. He asked, “Does anyone know what the word Resurrection means?” One little boy raised his hand and said, “It means Jesus is on the loose.”

This and That:

I love it when people think they’re punishing me by not talking to me.

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

I refuse to argue with anyone born after 1990. They don’t even know how to write in cursive.

I had the rudest, slowest cashier today. That’s the last time I’ll use self-checkout.

Judge: You’ve been charged with intent to sell or deliver a controlled substance.

Defendant: I wasn’t trying to sell it. I was trying to trade it for a truck.

Complaint from a tourist to a travel agency: We went on a canoe trip but were very disappointed that no one told us there would not be a bathroom onboard. It was very inconvenient.

Security notice: “All employees must wear ID badgers when entering.” (We miss the days when only ferrets were required.)

Question posted on X: “People who suffer from low shelf and steam, how do you deal with it in your day to day life?”

Seen on a parenting blog: Vintage Boy Names:

• Grady… Charles… Asher… Ellis… Miles… Graham… Henry… Chick-Fil-A… Elias… Franklin… (Someone added: How could they forget Pizza Hut?)

Three football fans were talking about the sorry state of their team. The first fan said, “I blame the general manager. If he signed better players, we’d have a great team.” The second fan said, “I blame the players. If they made more effort, we’d score more points.” Said the third, “I blame my parents. If I’d been born in Los Angeles, I’d be supporting a better team.”

Bill was having trouble with groundhogs digging up his flower garden. Not wanting to harm them, he went to the local hardware store and rented two live traps. He asked, “What do I do with the groundhogs after I catch them?” The store owner said, “I tell everyone to take them west out of town until the road turns to gravel and let them go.” Bill was appalled: “That’s where I live!”

If you ever have to use one of the bold words in a sentence, these examples might help you:

Candor: “When Lisa asked her manager for a raise, they candor instead.”

Meander: “Jill and I went for a winding walk. It was just meander.”

Rescind: “This morning I went to confession, but after I left the church. I immediately rescind.”

A high school teacher, trying to control the talking in her class, blurted out, “Why is it, every time I open my mouth, some fool speaks?”

Sign in a parking lot: “Parking available in empty spaces only.”

A man on trial for fraud (who was eventually convicted) attested, “As a general matter, I don’t lie. It’s something that I believe fairly strong in.”

And I’ll begin to end this refection with a few puns:

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

A will is a dead givaway.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U. C. L. A.

And finally, a true story about a friend of mine, Sister Barbara from Adrian, Michigan who recently passed away. At the funeral Mass her very good friend, Sister Carol, told this story. Barb was a regular lector at their parish. One Sunday, before Mass, she went up to the pulpit and wlecomed everyone and then announced, “Today is the 17th CENTURY in Ordinary time.” As the congregation erupted in laughter, she commended them for their alertness, and the presiding priest said, “I knew our Church has been accused of being behind the times, but I didn’t think it was THAT bad!”

For reflection:

Are there any of these that you particularily enjoyed?

Would you like to share another snippet of humor with us below?

I’m offering two videos this week. The first video ( 2. mins.) is a popular poem called “Footprints in the Sand.” The poem is attributed to Mary Stevenson who wrote it in the 1930’s after suffering several personal losses. For me, the poem says (among other things) that God has the “last laugh”– or at least the “last smile.” The second video is an 8. min. montage of laughing babies.

Video #1:

Video #2: Laughing babies… Notice the things that make them laugh… and notice the effect their laughter has on the adults!

I welcome your comments and additions below!