Like you, I am aware of the many serious situations and issues confronting us right now. While not minimizing them in any way, I feel we must regularly take a break from all the seriousness and exercise our human capacity for levity. I hope a few of these will bring a smile to your face.
Let’s start off with a few T-shirt slogans:
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
That’s it! I’m calling Grandma! (seen on an 8-year-old)
Frankly Scallop, I don’t give a clam! (seen in Cape Cod)
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.
Let’s try some philosophical thoughts:
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.
On the other hand… you have different fingers.
I intend to live forever—so far so good.
Noah was a brave man. He sailed in a wooden ship with two termites.
We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open.
Now for some Definitions from a Catholic Dictionary: Amen: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. Jesuits: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges with good basketball teams. Justice: When kids have kids of their own. Magi: The most famous trio ever to attend a baby shower. Processional: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats. Recessional: The ceremonial procession at the end of Mass, led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
Now for a few miscellaneous observations:
Sign seen on an office door: “I can please only one person a day… Today is not your day… Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
An actual headline: “Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Line.”
Woman about date: “He was a regular Don Yawn.”
Some minds are like concrete: Thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
A racehorse can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time.
Nostalgia: the longing you feel when you find the present tense and the past perfect.
First woman: “She thinks no man is good enough for her.” Second woman: “She may be right.” First woman: “She may be left.”
An egotistical actor boasted: “You know, at my last performance, I had the audience glued to their seats.” His latest costar replied, “Really? How very clever of you to think of that.”
I have noticed that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
Now let’s look at a few bumper stickers:
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
Caution: I drive like you do.
Always remember, you’re unique—just like everyone else.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
Sometimes I feel I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I’ve gotta be me! Everyone else was already taken.
Writer: “I’m writing the definitive self-help book based on my personal philosophy.”
Friend: “What philosophy?”
Writer: “The three ups. Shut up, Grow up, and Lighten up.”
Did you like any of these? Do you have any others to share with us?
PS: Reminder: I’m giving a virtual retreat on hope Oct. 2-3 sponsored by Mount St. Joseph Retreat Center in Maple Mount, KY. There’s one conference Friday 6:30-7:30 pm (central time). Saturday goes from 9:00 am to 4:00 pm and includes conferences, ample breaks, some sharing. For details and registration, go to www.ursulinesmsj.org or call 270-229-0200. I hope to see some of you there!
Our song is a rendition of “Amazing Grace” sung by people from 50 countries affected by Covid-19. It’s a beautiful reminder of the oneness of our human family.
I invite you to respond below to anything in this blog–or to one another. I love hearing from you!