The Gospels record many words spoken by Jesus, but these four words are never ascribed to him: “I told you so!” I think this fact gives us an insight into the way Jesus interacted with people.

When someone says to us, “I told you so!” they are really telling us three things. First, that they possess great knowledge and wisdom. Second, that our knowledge and wisdom is inferior to theirs, as circumstances have just demonstrated. And, third, if we had listened to them (which we didn’t), we wouldn’t be in such a mess. That Jesus possessed superior knowledge and wisdom is without question. And people around him often gave evidence of their inferior knowledge and foolishness. Yet he never said, “I told you so!” What did he say instead? Let’s look at three incidents in his life to find the answer.

When Jesus goes to the house of Jairus to tend to his ill daughter, he is told by the bystanders that the girl is already dead. Jesus says, “She isn’t dead–she’s only sleeping.” Upon hearing this, the crowd starts “making fun of him.” Jesus goes in and raises the girl from the dead, but he doesn’t say to the people, “I told you so.” He says instead, “Give her something to eat.”

Another incident is after the Resurrection when Jesus appears to his frightened apostles cowering in the upper room. What are his first words to them? Not “See, I told you so!” but instead, “Peace be with you. As the Father sent me, so I send you.”

Perhaps the one person Jesus would have been most justified in saying, “I told you so,” was Peter. At the Last Supper, Peter boasts of his loyalty to Jesus when he says, “If all of these betray you, I will not!” But Jesus warns him, “Yes, you will betray me.” Shortly after, Peter betrays Jesus not once, but three times! But when Peter encounters the risen Jesus on the shore a while later, Jesus says to him, “Feed my lambs… feed my sheep.”

There is a common element in these reponses of Jesus: “Give her something to eat… As the Father sent me, I send you… Feed my sheep.” In each of them, Jesus is entrusting someone with a job to do. Jesus was a good psychologist. He was also highly sensitive.

In each incident, a group of people or an individual had demonstrated their foolishness. But saying, “I told you so!” would have added to their feelings of worthlessness. But by giving them a job to do, Jesus is giving them a chance to rebuild their self-esteem by focusing their attention on someone in need. Furthermore, by giving them a task, Jesus shows his trust in people despite their mistakes or poor judgment. The task can be as simple as giving a little girl something to eat or as monumental as becoming the chief shepherd of the Church.

As followers of Jesus, we can strive to remove the words “I told you so” from our vocabulary. More importantly, we can rid ourselves of the attitude behind the words. As Christians, we are called to the work of building people up, rather than tearing them down. As imitators of the compassionate Jesus, we must learn to say to others (as Jesus says to us again and again), “I love you so much, I trust you still!”

(Adapted from an article I wrote for Catholic Digest, April 1981!)

For reflection:

How do you feel when someone tells you, “See? I told you so!”

How do you feel when someone entrusts you with a job or task to do?

What are some of the things we can say to others that help build their sense of self-worth?

What does Jesus need help with in our world today–in our family or workplace or parish or neighborhood or country? How might you help?

PS: Recently a couple of my friends took me out for Sunday brunch for my Jubilee. The restaurant was no ordinary restaurant. It was “Edwins Too,” an upper scale restaurant that employs formerly incarcerated individuals. This means all chefs, wait staff, and other workers, are former felons. It was all started by Brandon Chrostowski who, as a young man got into trouble with the law. As he faced sentencing, (he could have gotten 5 to 10 years), the judge (for some reason) gave him a second chance: parole. Chrostowski says, “I know it was because I had the right skin color.” He resovled to do something with his life to help give others a second chance too. I wrote about him and Edwins previously on my blog. If you want to read that, simply go to the top of the right side bar and type “Edwins Restaurant” in the search box. The restaurant is located in Cleveland Heights, OH. Visit their website for details.

Disclaimer: Please note: when I post a video, I am recommending only the video I post. Often, at the end of that video, other videos come up. Although some of those videos might be fine, others are NOT videos I would recommend. I have no control over what other videos are suggested at the end of the video I post. As with everything we view online, we must be careful. Thank you!

Here is a song entitled, “God, Give Me a Second Chance” by R. Kelly. It captures the theme of Edwins Too and today’s reflection: instead of saying I told you so, entrust the other with a second chance. (click on cc for closed captions)

I welcome your comments below!