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Celebrating Everyday Spirituality

Sunflower Seeds

Celebrating Everyday Spirituality

What Jesus Did NOT Say

One way to appreciate what Jesus said is to imagine what he could  have said but didn’t. Here are ten examples I came up with. Beside each one, I have put the gospel reference that tells what Jesus really said:

  1. “What a bunch of mangy fisherman. No potential for leadership here, that’s for sure.” (Mk. 1:16-20)
  2. “So what if they’ve run out of wine, Mother? That’s their problem, not mine!” (Jn. 2:1-10)
  3. “Thanks, Guys, for getting rid of those pesky little kids. I don’t have time for them.” (Mt. 19:13-15)
  4. “You ask me how many times you should forgive. Once seems more than enough to me.” (Mt. 18:21-22)
  5. “Me? Make time for prayer? How can I with all my responsibilities?” (Mk. 1:35)
  6. “You’ve got a heck of a lot of reasons to be afraid, little flock!” (Lk. 12:32)
  7. “They caught you in the act of adultery, Lady? Well, you deserve to be stoned!” (Jn. 8: 3-11)
  8. “Foxes have holes and birds of the air nests, but the Son of Man has a condo on the Mediterranean.” (Lk. 9: 58)
  9. “Lady, take your alabaster jar and get out of here! Don’t you see you’re embarrassing me?!” (Mk. 14: 3-9)
  10. “Take up your cushion and follow me.” (Mk. 8: 34)

What else didn’t Jesus say?


2 Responses

  1. 11. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, forget about your neighbor and not only hate your enemies, but hunt them down and kill them. (Matthew 5:43)

    As my favorite bumper sticker says:

    “When Jesus Said, Love your enemy, I’m pretty sure he meant you shouldn’t kill them”

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