What Jesus Did NOT Say

One way to appreciate what Jesus said is to imagine what he could  have said but didn’t. Here are ten examples I came up with. Beside each one, I have put the gospel reference that tells what Jesus really said:

  1. “What a bunch of mangy fisherman. No potential for leadership here, that’s for sure.” (Mk. 1:16-20)
  2. “So what if they’ve run out of wine, Mother? That’s their problem, not mine!” (Jn. 2:1-10)
  3. “Thanks, Guys, for getting rid of those pesky little kids. I don’t have time for them.” (Mt. 19:13-15)
  4. “You ask me how many times you should forgive. Once seems more than enough to me.” (Mt. 18:21-22)
  5. “Me? Make time for prayer? How can I with all my responsibilities?” (Mk. 1:35)
  6. “You’ve got a heck of a lot of reasons to be afraid, little flock!” (Lk. 12:32)
  7. “They caught you in the act of adultery, Lady? Well, you deserve to be stoned!” (Jn. 8: 3-11)
  8. “Foxes have holes and birds of the air nests, but the Son of Man has a condo on the Mediterranean.” (Lk. 9: 58)
  9. “Lady, take your alabaster jar and get out of here! Don’t you see you’re embarrassing me?!” (Mk. 14: 3-9)
  10. “Take up your cushion and follow me.” (Mk. 8: 34)

What else didn’t Jesus say?


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  1. Rose Monsell on June 23, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    11. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, forget about your neighbor and not only hate your enemies, but hunt them down and kill them. (Matthew 5:43)

    As my favorite bumper sticker says:

    “When Jesus Said, Love your enemy, I’m pretty sure he meant you shouldn’t kill them”

    • Melannie Svoboda SND on June 25, 2012 at 5:02 pm

      A good addition to the list of things Jesus did NOT say, Rose! Thank you for sending it! Melannie

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