Some Humor to Celebrate 10 years!
Today I’m finishing our celebration of the tenth anniversary of this blog by devoting today’s post to humor and laughter. I firmly believe that wholesome, healthy laughter is a sign of the presence of the Holy Spirit. I hope some of these 25 snippets of humor will cause you to smile, chuckle, groan, or maybe even laugh! Here goes:
1) I went to a psychic and knocked on her door. She asked, “Who is it?” So I left.
2) I told my suitcases that there would be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
3) What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. It just waved.
4) God gives every bird its food, but he doesn’t throw it into the nest.
5) One thing the discovery of the North Pole revealed is that there is no one sitting on top of the world.
6) Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
7) Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.
8) When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.
9) I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
10) What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
11) I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
12) A Roman Legionnaire walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “I’ll have five beers.”
13) A teacher took her second graders to the school Mass. When they got back to the classroom, she asked them if they had any questions about what they had seen or heard. One boy raised his hand and said, “At the beginning of Mass, why did father smell the altar?”
14) What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.
15) I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday, but I couldn’t find any.
16) Life is never so bad at its worst that it is impossible to live; it is never so good at its best that it is easy to live.
17) Wife: “Doctor, my husband always speaks during his sleep. What can I give him?” Doctor: “Give him a chance to speak when he is awake.”
18) The biggest cases of mistaken identity are among those individuals who have trouble remembering they are not God.
19) What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They both have the same middle name.
20) Teacher: “What is an island?” Little girl: “An island is a piece of land surrounded by water except in one place.” Teacher: “What place is that?” Little girl: “The top.”
21) A third-grade girl came home from school and told her parents that Kyle Roberts had kissed her after school. Her mother asked, “How did that happen?” The girl replied, “It wasn’t easy—but three of my girlfriends caught him for me.”
22) Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.
23) Why did God make the man first? Because everyone needs a rough draft.
And finally, as an old English teacher, I couldn’t resist these two:
24) What do you say to comfort a friend who is struggling with English grammar? There, their, they’re…
25. My new Thesaurus is terrible. Not only that, it’s terrible.
Did any of these jokes tickle your funny bone? If so, which?
Would you like to add something short and funny?
Announcing the winners of our final contest!!
These three winners will receive a 20 minute phone call from Sister Melannie. (drum roll please):
1) Susan Bacher lives in Pittsburgh, PA. She’s been reading my blog for about 8 years. She said, “I have never won anything in my 73 years–so this phone call will be a blessing!”
2) Bonnie F. is from Yarmouth, ME. My blog has been coming into her inbox for 3 or 4 years. Bonnie is an artist. You can see some of her incredible works (baby sweaters, jewelry, cards, fused glass pieces) at: https://heronpointstudio.net.
3) Maggie Dumm, from Thousand Oaks, CA, has been reading “Sunflower Seeds” since the beginning. Her husband passed away in January ’21. He often gifted her with sunflowers, so the flower is very special to her. Maggie knows some of our SND’s in California—especially from her parish in Ventura.
A big thank you to all who entered the three contests. I had fun–I hope you did too!
PS: I ask your prayers for a virtual retreat I’m giving this Friday evening and Saturday sponsored by the Portiuncula Center for Prayer in Frankfurt, IL. Entitled “Living with Hope in an Imperfect World,” the retreat consists of essentially 3 sessions. It includes, prayer, input, handouts, videos, and discussion. All are welcome! For more details, check out the website: https://www.portforprayer.org.
In keeping with today’s light and celebratory tone, I have chosen two children’s videos you might enjoy. The first is a song about rhyming words. The second is a song about thanksgiving.
Bryant Oden has written a ton of clever songs for children. Here’s one of my favorites: “Before I Could Rhyme.”
This song is for children of all ages… including you and me. It’s called “Thankful” and it’s by Juicebox Jutebox.
I invite you to comment below. Don’t forget: You might want to share a short piece of humor with us too!
Good morning, Sr. Melannie…
Good morning, all…
Such great fun! Congratulations on ten years of making Mondays better than they should be! Can’t wait for the next ten!
Will start my classes today by reading these jokes, and yes I will cite the source!
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam!
Good morning! I loved the joke about the boy who asked “Why did Father smell the altar?”. I am a retired special education teacher and taught mostly primary grades. The innocence of children, their curiosity and candid questions makes for great humor.
Thank you for the laugh today!
Happy 10th Anniversary!
Thank you Sister Melannie.
What a fun and great way to begin the week for so many years.
What do you call fish with no “eyes”? Fshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I am thankful for your blog and all the joy you bring to us on Monday mornings. The songs were great and they made me smile.
Happy 10th Anniversay! I wish you happiness, today and everyday.
The only thing normal is the setting on your washer!
Every one of these jokes made me laugh, and especially the little boy asking why Father was smelling the altar. I taught CCD to first graders for many years and hardly a class went by without some comment from a little one that made me laugh.
My husband of 51 years, who has been ill with Lewy Body Dementia for at least ten years, died in mid-January. He was known throughout his life as one of the funniest persons you’d ever meet, and a prankster at heart. He gave me the gift of laughter from the time I met him at a college cafeteria lunch table until the night before he passed with his wickedly humorous one-liners and puns. Over the last few weeks I have enjoyed hearing from so many people from his childhood, his college days, his working days as a surgical nurse, and even from his caregivers during his time of illness how often he made them smile or laugh. Humor truly is a gift from the Holy Spirit and one I am so thankful for.
Mary Therese, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you Thomas. I’m deeply sorry for yours as well. The devastating experience of a fire is something that continues far past the event itself. You are in my prayers. (And I did wonder where you were.)
Mary Therese, My deepest sympathy to you on the recent death of your dear husband. How fortunate you were to find a good husband with a great sense of humor. He touched many lives. And it sounds as if, in the end, he was surrounded by loving care… I bet he found in heaven and brought to heaven much laughter! Peace… Melannie
Thank you Sister Melannie, While my husband’s death has been expected, and he is relieved from much suffering, he still loved life, his family and friends, my home cooked meals, the books I read aloud to him every night, and so much more. The final night he was conscious he chose to join his sister and me at the dinner table rather than eat in his bedroom. He had limited language skills so forming a complete sentence was mostly beyond his capability. His sister and I were discussing the untimely death of our son last fall, and at some point she told me, in response to my comment that I often think about death, that she never thought about it. We all sat silently for a minute. I looked over at him and asked “Mark do you ever think about death?” His reply, very directly with no sense of struggle for finding words as was usually and painfully the case, was: “All the time, now where is my dessert?” We all looked startled, even him, and burst out laughing. So vintage Mark.
Deepest condolences on your loss. May you feel the Lord’s comfort. 🙏🏻
Thank you Cathy. I do find comfort in the fact my husband is no longer trapped in his body physically, and his thoughts trapped behind his tongue that could no longer form words. However, our loved ones are always precious, and he will always be missed.
Good morning, Sr. Melannie,
Thank you for making my Mondays so special for the last several years! I especially liked the joke about the priest smelling the altar. We can’t begin to understand the thought process of a child!
Three men walked into a bar. You would have thought one of them would have seen it!
Thanks for the Monday morning blog that always brightens my day! I love the jokes and sayings that you post! The one about the priest at the altar is especially cute! As a retired primary teacher I also loved the songs!!!
Hi, I am a reader of your blog but for some reason it no longer comes to my email. I have registered but it says I am registered but I still do not receive your blog.
Anything you can do to address it, I will be very grateful to you.
God bless. Happy Anniversay
Sr. Melannie and friends, hello!
It’s been a while since I last was here. Some tumult and upheaval (Boston-area folks might recall the Arlington, MA fire of Jan. 22; that was in my apartment building, and I was displaced). So, a new place to live after 12 years, and some adjustment and rebuilding.
I hope everyone is well. I’m plugging along just trying to do the next right thing. And awash in gratitude for the hundreds of favours received in the wake of this calamity — chief among the gifts, my life. Very fortunate indeed.
Sorry to drag the thread off-topic. I hope everyone is well.
Peace and light.
Good morning! I have missed your thoughtful regular posts! I offer now my regrets at the loss of your home. I pray you continue to find your way forward, as you write, in “peace and light.”
I’m so sorry to hear about the fire! My heart goes out to you! Be assured of our prayers for you and all those others who were devastated by this fire…
Yes, we missed reading your insightful comments. It’s good to have you back… Peace, our dear friend…. Melannie (et alia)…
Sorry to hear about the fire. Change is hard, especially unexpected. 🙏🏻
I loved all the jokes, laughter is so good for us. My 3 and 5 year old grandchildren love knock knock jokes and laugh even if they don’t get the punch line. Sister Melanie you make my day.
Love the “Thankful” song And will add it to my playlist at school! Thank you sister!
Thanks for this bit of humor to start my day. I too loved the little one who asked why the priest smelled the altar. So observant!
What do you do when a lemon gets sick? Give it lemon-aid
Dear Readers, Keep the comments coming… As you know, my blog isn’t sending out my posts on Monday to many of you–even though the Monday reflection is posted on my blog. (I found mine this morning, Wednesday.) Next week, I’m going to try sending out my blog on Saturday–and see if that helps. It’s my blog for Valentine’s Day… Thanks for hanging in there! Remember, you can always access the current blog starting on Monday. Just go directly to the blog. (I just google “sunflower Seeds blog” and my name and it comes up. Melannie
Many prayers for Mary Therese and for Thomas. I giggled and chuckled at all of the jokes but laughed out loud to everyone’s favorite about smelling the altar. Children have such insight.
What do you call a pop star in a snow storm? Chilly Eilish
I must have missed something, about a fire? Anyway thank you for making me laugh this morning! Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it comes to the end, the shorter it is.
I keep getting your blog every Wednesday. Why?
Irene, Please see my comment a few comments before your comment… Our IT people are working on the problem… Thank you for following my blog! Melannie
Thanks for laughs Sr Melannie! 🙏🏻 😊 Why aren’t koalas real bears? Cause they don’t meet the koalafications😊
Hope you enjoy this in light of the Olympics:
Any plans for the weekend?
Wow! Swim, cycle, run?
No, Book, bath, nap.
Thanks for your wonderful weekly blog!
Enjoyed the comedy in celebrating your 10th! My wife and I have served the Dioceses of New York and Trenton for 40 years (Marriage Prep/Pre-Cana); now married for 58 years in May. We have used the following on each of days served; To make a long story short – Creation in 7 days, week later St. Michael to God “Not Working,” God to Adam: “Procreate and Populate,” 1/2 hour later: Adam to God: “What’s a Headache?”
Loved them all sister! I did laugh and it felt great! God bless you!
I also get the blog on Wednesday. Doesn’t matter when it comes because I know it will bring a smile to my face. Thanks for all the humor today. I enjoyed everyone.
Thanks for the laughs, Melannie!
I have two. A retired English teacher, I was sick of answering the question, “Sister, does spelling count?” So this one is for you (and you’ve probably seen it before): “Bad spellers of the world, UNTIE!”
The second is a true story. The children were at a school Mass when the reading was about the end times, when all the terrible, doomsday events would occur. And one of the younger children—who obviously was listening—said, “Sister, do you think we’ll get out of school early that day?”
Had a really busy week and just now read and listened to the songs! What a great blog!
We do all have a lot to be thankful and grateful for!