I just finished reading a fascinating book entitled “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.” (I want to thank Jen for her enthusiastic recommendation.) The book was so good, I had to exert great self-control NOT to hurry through it! The author, John Mark Comer, was the pastor of a huge mega-church in the suburbs of Portland, Oregon. By most metrics, he was highly successful: church size, book sales, speaking invitations, social status. But his marriage was more “duty than delight.” His kids avoided him, because they knew he was “wedded” to his job, his church. And at age 30, he was always “stressed out, on edge, and quick to snap at people.”
One day he paused long enough to ask himself these two questions: “Is this the way of Jesus?” And, “Who am I becoming?” He sought advice from wise people who were “emotionally alive and spiritually healthy” amid the “chaos of the modern world.” What was their secret, he wondered? One of the wise persons was Dallas Willard, a philosopher at the University of Southern California. When Willard was asked, “What must I do to become the person I want to be?” he replied, “You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”
Corrie ten Boom, a holocaust survivor and Christian writer, said that if the devil can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy. Says Comer, hurry, sin, and busyness all have the same effect–they can “cut you off from connection to God, to other people, and even to your own soul.” That doesn’t mean all busyness is bad. Jesus himself was busy. But the problem is when you have too much to do and “the only way to keep up the quota is to hurry.” Comer believes our constant hurriedness is “anti-Christ.” Why? Because the highest value in God’s kingdom is love. And as all parents, lovers, and friends know, “love is painfully time consuming.”
Comer sought counseling and eventually resigned as the CEO of that mega-church. He then became pastor of a single church in the inner city. That drastic change, he says, saved his marriage, helped him to establish a real relationship with his kids, and restored his energy to serve the members of his church with love, enthusiasm, and joy. The first step in eliminating the hurry in our lives is to acknowledge that there is a problem. One chapter that helped me to see the problem more clearly was entitled “A Brief History of Speed.”
Humans did not always live at our current frenetic pace. In 200 B.C. the sundial was invented. People complained about this “new technology.” (People tend to complain about any new technology.) They said the sundial cut the day “wretchedly into small portions” (later called hours.) Then, in the sixth Century, St. Benedict organized the monastery around seven times of prayer each day. By the 12th Century, the monks invented a mechanical clock to call the monastery to prayer at specific times. The year 1370 ushered in the first public clock tower in Cologne, Germany. Before that, time was more natural. When the sun came up, you got out of bed. When the sun went down, you went to bed. Now the tower clock bonged every hour of the day. Then in 1879 Thomas Edison invented the light bulb which made it possible to stay up past sunset–and to get up long before dawn. Here’s a shocking fact: Before the light bulb, the average person slept eleven hours a night!
Then came all our “labor saving devices” such as toasters, washing machines, microwaves, and fast food that were supposed to save us time. So what did we do with all that time we saved? Says Comer: “we spent it on other things.” But the epitome of labor saving devices came into being in 2007, the year Steven Jobs introduced the iPhone to the world. The iPhone put the internet into our pockets! Recent studies show that the average smartphone user touches his or her phone 2,617 times a day and is on that phone 2 1/2 hours over 66 sessions a day. Another study showed that younger users are on their phones twice that amount. Other studies have revealed these alarming trends. In 2000 our human attention span was 12 seconds. Now it’s dropped to nine. Adult humans, however, are still capable of “sustained focus” for about 60 minutes in certain contexts. Another alarming trend: Psychologists tell us that the vast majority of Americans’ relationship to their phones falls under the categories of “compulsion” or “full-addiction.”
So, how do you know if you have the so-called “hurry sickness,” that is, a malaise identified by cardiologists in which a person feels chronically anxious, continuously rushed, and short of time. Comer gives 10 signs. Here are 5 of them: Irritability: You get annoyed, frustrated, and mad very easily. Daily things irk you. People have to tiptoe around you. You live with an ongoing low-grade anger. Restlessness: When you try to slow down and rest, you can’t relax. If you go to bed early, you toss and turn. If you watch TV, you are simultaneously checking your phone or folding the laundry. Your mind is always hyped up. Workaholism or nonstop activity: You don’t know when to stop–or worse yet, you can’t stop. You have an obsession with getting things done. By day’s end you have nothing left to give your loved ones. Emotional numbness. You don’t have the capacity to feel another’s pain. Or even your own pain. Empathy is a rare feeling for you. When you’re too exhausted to do what’s really life-giving for you, you turn to “distractions of choice”: overeating, overdrinking, binge-watching, gambling, surfing the net, browsing social media.” Isolation: You feel disconected from everyone; yourself, others, God. Even if you try to sit with God or to be with friends, you’re also on your phone or a million miles away in your mind.
So what is the solution to the problem of trying to live our lives at such a frenetic pace? Does our Christian faith offer us any help? The answers to those two questions will be explored in next week’s blog. Until then, have an unhurried week!
For reflection:
Do you ever feel you are being asked to do more and more things with less time?
Do you have a smartphone? How would you describe your relationship with your phone: compulsive, an addiction, other? How often do you touch your phone on a given day? Why not keep track for a day? Have you ever “fasted” from your phone for a period of time? Explain the circumstances. How did it make you feel?
Do you drive the speed limit? Why or why not?
Any thoughts on the last picture above?
P.S. A good friend of mine, Sue, took this photo of a pileated woodpecker at her birdfeeder on her backyard deck. He and his mate take turns at the feeder. They fly in from across the road, so Sue suspects that’s where their nest is. If all goes well, they’ll raise their young (from egg to independence) in 4 months… Life goes on as usual for our feathered friends… They are an example of resilience, courage, and dedicated care for the next generation… There are no headlines calling our attention to them… Maybe there should be… Some facts: these birds are BIG: 19 inches long; wing-span of nearly 3 feet. They mate for life. They “drum” their beaks 20 times per second. Their built in “brain cushioning” prevents concussions. They carve a new nest in dead trees, allowing other animals (owls, squirrels, bats, other birds) to use their previous holes… I hope you can pause and enjoy “Woody’s” beauty! Thanks, Sue, for sharing this lovely picture with us!
Our song today is appropriately called “Slow Me Down” by Grapevine Church. It is a beautiful prayer addressed to our Good Shepherd, our Good Friend.
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42 Responses
Loved the stories of the babies born in the camps and their survival. They are amazingly positive.
The history of how we use time was amazing, I never thought off it in quite that way. I am retired and feel like I am more “busy” than when I worked. There is always something to “do”. I am on my computer too much.
Barbara, You aren’t the only retiree to say they are busier than ever–because everyone assumes they have lots of “free time” now… Yes, it’s good to pause every now and then and take inventory of how we are really using our time. We might be a little surprised… I’m glad you enjoyed last week’s blog about the “holocaust babies.” I, like you, were amazed at how positive they were! Thanks for writing! Melannie
Thank you Sister. Striving for balance is a constant. Making space in Lent is also a goal for me. Looking forward to next week’s post.
Vivian, I appreciated your sentence: “Striving for balance is a constant.” That’s a good maxim! And yes, Lent is a good time to reflect on our use of our time. Time is such a precious gift. Melannie
Dear Melannie,
Thank you for the great insight it when our day many look like and how much our iPhone may consume our day. I plan to do a diary for a day of my phone use. Thanks so much for the suggestion, Lent is a great to gain insight as to how I use my time.
Hope you are having a blessed Lenten season. Look forward to you next . Great picture to reflect on the woman with the cane and the runner. Sometimes age has a way of slowing us down and gives us time to reflect if we accept it as a gift and not a burden.
Blessed third week of Lent,
Jane
Jane, I admire the fact that you are going to keep a diary for a day charting your phone use. Good for you! Your words about the last picture mirror the thoughts I had when I came across it. Those of us gifted with a long life learn how God’s little “trick” for most of us is to slow us down. Rather than rage against this, we can befriend it for the gifts it gives us–for example, the chance to notice things we might have otherwised missed–like the birds chirping, the faces of the people we meet along the way, the feel of hot water on our stiff back in the morning shower, our body parts that AREN’T hurting today…
Melannie
Good morning, Melannie…
Good morning, all…
Greetings from Minnesota, where our two very young grandchildren have yet to fall prey to the tyranny of time! The older of the two has a 19th century bedtime — in bed by seven, up at six, and two year old energy for the rest of the day, running his sleep-deprived, IPhone-owning grandparents ragged!
John there is no more enjoyable fatigue than spending time with grandchildren!
Susan, I like your phrase “enjoyable fatigue.” Thanks for pointing that out to us! Melannie
Welcome to Minnesota!!
John, I wonder at what age we learn about the “tyranny of time.”… I smiled at your description “sleep-deprived, Iphone-owning grandparents…” It makes you marvel how you ad Kerry raised three children–especially when they were very young–but then, during the teen years, helping them become responsbile adults. I always say, I admire every person who has ever raised even one child… I know,(and I know you know!) in the end, this time with your grandkids is a precious, precious gift–for you and for them. Melannie
Good Morning Sister Melannie,
Yes, slow down…smell the coffee, smell the roses? Yes, slow down.
My husband and I have our daily watch of the birds right outside our kitchen window.
That slows us to appreciate our beautiful surroundings, all our gifts from God right there!
Thank you for all the reminders.
Jean, I commend you and your husband for making time to watch the birds right outside your kitchen window! And to appreciate your surroundings… and the gifts of God RIGHT HERE AND NOW. It’s these tiny pauses in our day that can help keep us connected to creation and to Our Beloved Creator! Melannie
Great sharing of what you have read and learned about Melannie. Thank you. I also loved the story’s bout the Woodpecker. You found the perfect song.
Mo, Glad you liked learning about woodpeckers. I find creation fascinating! And yes, I think the Spirit lead me to this particular song… Thanks for writing! Melannie
The 5 signs you shared from Comer rang true. Just one example: I did not watch the 60 Minutes segment until two days ago. The history of time reminded me a book from a few years back, “Of Ice and Men: How We’ve Used Cold to Transform Humanity” by Fred Hogge. Managing time and temperature is important. Needing to control them, can create some unhealthy perspectives.
Thank you for this “timely” Lenten reflection.
Giddy up & God Bless!
Barry, You make a good distinction between “manage” and “control.” I always say “Control” is one of the “idols” we worship in contemporary western culture. That desire to control can gradually seep into our relationships with people–and (unfortunately) even with God. Thanks, Barry! Melannie
Thanks for being a weekly post it note from God!
Hello Sr Melanie
Thanks for sharing. It is really interesting to read that the light bulb is a relatively recent invention and its impact on sleep.
I think a good practice is to have ‘ a grand silence’ for one’s phone too, turning it on only after morning prayer and breakfast is complete, giving mind and body a good chance to reset.
Unhurriedly waiting for the wisdom in instalment two.
Blessings and thanks
Andre
Perth, Australia
Andre, That was “neat” the way you suggested a “grand silence” for our phones. “Grand silence” is that venerable monastic tradition of silence for the community after night prayer until the following morning. Making times of silence is one of the “religious disciplines” you’ll read about next week… Hope things are well in Perth! Melannie
What a wonderful Lenten practice to slow down! I started practicing medialess Mondays recently. NO checking social media just checking for messages that my Dad is okay. It’s refreshing not to be tethered to my cellphone.
Kathleen, I loved your idea of medialess Mondays… and your conclusion, “It’s refreshing not to be tethered to my cellphone.” It’s amazing how a convenience can become an addiction… Thanks! Melannie
Thanks for passing on this book title, I enjoy learning how people actually live out principles of using time in a more God given way. Another book on this topic that I found fascinating is Slowing Down To the Speed of Joy by Matthew Kelly from Dynamic Catholic. It gave me a new appreciation for keeping a Sabbath day whether it be Sunday or another day of the week depending on your schedule. Yes, we unfortunately have become WAY too attached to technology. I find I have good intentions to look up spiritual things but then I’m down the rabbit hole of scrolling through headlines, recipes, Facebook etc. Think I will say a prayer to God when I pick up my phone or log onto computer to keep me focused on what HE wants me to get out of technology.
Michel, Thanks for another good book recommendation by Matthew Kelly. Comer also talks about reclaiming the “Sabbath tradition.” I’ll say a few words about that next week! Yes, sometimes scrolling does become a “rabbit hole.” Good image! Melannie
The “Preacher” of the Book of Ecclesiastes isn’t the last word on wisdom, but many people know with near certainty the words, “There is a season for everything . . . . A time for giving birth, a time for dying.” ( Ch. 3) So on the subject of not rushing, it’s well to remember that occasionally it’s better to rush. You want to get quickly to the hospital emergency department if there is something that shouldn’t be suffered slowly. If you fear that you’d lose a job if you came late again, you should try to be early. But on the whole, it’s wise to have a sense of measure, or proportion. Sabbath rest is good for a workaholic, no doubt. Taking time to rest while sleeping or eating is sensible. We know what burnout is. Having a set pattern of quiet once or more often in a day for recollection and prayer gives a person perspective on what to do, when, and how much to do it. Josef Pieper wrote the classic, *Leisure, the Basis of Culture*, and I would say that a wise culture gives birth to leisure and its fruits. Your blog is a fine example of this maxim.
George, I agree wholeheartedly with you about having “a sense of measure, or proportion.” And “Having a set pattern of quiet once or more often in ther day for recollection and prayer gives a person perspective” in life. Wise words, George. Thank you! Melannie
So thought provoking and alarming. I see myself being too busy and that interferes with giving time to others. After reading this blog, I have stuff to work on. Great data! Thank you for such a great topic, Sister Melannie. I will read that book.
Anita, I appreciated your honesty… But we ALL have “stuff to work on.” That’s why I liked Comer’s questions: “Is this the way of Jesus?” and “What kind of person am I becoming?” Our truthful answers can help us make the changes we need to make–no matter how large or small those changes might be. Thanks for writing, Anita. Melannie
A small group at our parish is reading “Slowing Down To The Speed Of Joy” by Matthew Kelly. A quote: “Joy erupts within us when we allow an experience to touch the very depths of our souls. That cannot be rushed. It’s time to slow down to the speed of joy.” The book is filled with ways to slow down, not hurrying as Comer remarks in his book. When I hurry too much I tend to get anxious and am not very joyful.
Karen, Kelly’s book seems to have some of the same wisdom that Comer’s book has. Love takes time. I guess, true joy takes time too! Melannie
Thank you Sister for the reminder to “slow down”.
There is a Catholic Church at the end of a rural lane near my home. It has a posted sign that reads: “Speed Limit 9 1/2 MPH”. It always catches my attention.
In the context of your Sunflower Seeds post today, I realize that when I slow my speed on my daily journey, I am better able to experience and be in gratitude for the privilege, abundance and yes, even sorrows of the good life God has bestowed upon me.
In this regard, I once read that attention is a sacred resource. I find that when I am attentive and focused on the present moment, I am better able to slow my pace and enjoy the ride.
So too, traveling at a more unhurried pace enables me to stay connected with a Power greater than myself.
Ergo, I need to remember to pay attention to the 9 1/2 speed limit signs in my life.
Mike, I love that 9 1/2 mile speed limit by that church!… What wisdom you share with us. Your second paragraph is a beautiful summary of what a well-lived life is filled with: gratitude for the privilege of receiving the precious gift of life–and accepting the joys and sorrows along the way… Yes, our attention “is a sacred resource.” Comer writes extensively about this… and also asks: To whom or what do we give our attention? Our answer to that question “defines” who we are… Thanks so much, Mike, for your fine comment! Melannie
Mike, I love that 9 1/2 mile speed limit by that church!… What wisdom you share with us. Your second paragraph is a beautiful summary of what a well-lived life is filled with: gratitude for the privilege of receiving the precious gift of life–and accepting the joys and sorrows along the way… Yes, our attention “is a sacred resource.” Comer writes extensively about this… and also asks: To whom or to what do we give our attention? Our answer to that question “defines” who we are… Thanks so much, Mike, for your fine comment! Melannie
Retirement and aging have brought a natural slowing down but there is still room for improvement, such as MUCH less phone time and more time for quiet reflection. On the positive side there is quality time spent with family and friends, quiet walks enjoying the beauty of nature, more time for reading, gratitude for the many blessings of each day and finding joy in the little things.
Looking forward to next week’s blog. You always keep us informed and inspired. Thank you Sr. Melannie
Beverly, Thank you for your response. You highlight so beautifully some of the powers and benefits of “a natural slowing down” that CAN come with retirement and aging. It’s not automatic. We must be aware of the choices we are making with our time. Thank you for writing! Melannie
Please send me Sunflower Seeds weekly. Thank you!
Stacy, It’s easy for you to subscribe to my blog. Just go up to near the top of this page to the column on the right to “Subscribe to blog.” Enter your email address, answer the question “Are you a human” (usually a math question), and click subscribe. You will get an email to verify whether you really want to subscribe. Verify that you do want to subscribe, submit that email, and that’s it: you’re a subscriber and will receive this blog every Monday in your inbox. If you don’t receive it next Monday, check your junk/spam mail. Let me know if you have a problem. Thanks for joining our “sunflower community”! Melannie
One of my favorite sayings is “remember we are human BEINGS not human DOINGS”
I recall that often when people say “I’d like to be a reader but I just don’t have time.” How sad.
Reading is one of my top of the list activities in my life. Even during COVID I read over 200 books online. We all need to take time to do the things about which we say “I don’t have time.” In reality, time is really the one of the things we need to treasure but we “lose it” with great regularity and it NEVER EVER can be found –
Patt, I, too, like the quote you begin with. I am amazed at the number of books you read during COVID. My goodness! What an accomplshment. I, too, love to read. It was part of my “heritage” from my parents. May you and all of us continue to use well the “treasure of time” we are allotted in life. Thank you for writing! Melannie
There is another book called “Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy” by Matthew Kelly, and right now my parish church is having discussion groups about this book. It is an awesome book one that I feel everyone should read. Jesus was busy, yes, but he did not hurry. Matthew Kelly cites so many examples of how busy Jesus was and yet he did not hurry. A good lesson for all of us. Remember the saying…”so much to do…so little time” ? We have the time…just need to use it properly.
Eleanor, You are the third reader to suggest this book–so it must be a good one! And readng it with other parishioners would add another dimension to your reading. Thank you for reminding us that Jesus WAS busy–but he didn’t live a frantic and hurried life. Imagine all those long walks from one town to another. No call for a taxi or uber driver. Just putting one foot in front of another… Thank you for your comment! Melannie
Please start sending me your weekly blog again. I miss it! Thank you Sister Melannie!
Blessings,
Stacy